The little family of her faithful servants who had shared with her the
weary years of captivity, were disconsolate. She alone was bright and
joyful. "Well," she said, "let supper be hastened, so that I may put my
affairs in order. My children, it is now no time to weep; that is
useless; what do you now fear? You should rather rejoice to see me on
such a good road to being delivered from the many evils and afflictions
which have so long been my portion." During supper she turned to her
physician, Bourgoin, with a bright countenance, and said:--"Did you
remark what Lord Kent said in his interview with me? He said that my
life would have been the death of their religion, and that my death will
be its life. Oh, how happy these words make me............ They told me
that I was to die because I had plotted against the Queen, and here is
Lord Kent sent to me to convert me, and what does he tell me?--that I am
to die on account of my religion."
When the light repast was finished, her attendants gathered around her
on their knees, implored her to forgive them whatever offences they had
committed against her. "With all my heart, my children," she fervently
answered, "even as I pray you to forgive me any injustice or harshness
of which I may have been guilty towards you."
Her unselfishness, which was one of the strongest features of her
character, showed itself to the last. No one would have thought it was
she who had to die next morning. She was administering comfort, not
seeking it. In all her life she had never abandoned a friend, nor
forgotten a good turn; nor did she now. The night was already well
advanced, and she began parcelling out gifts of money and jewellery for
her attendants and friends. Late in the night she wrote a short letter
to her chaplain, Preau, who was detained in another part of the Castle
and denied admittance to her presence.
"I have," she wrote, "been attacked to-day concerning my religion, and
urged to receive consolation from the heretics. You will hear from
Bourgoin and others that I, at least, faithfully made protestation for
my faith, in which I wish to die. I requested to have you, in order
that I might make my confession and receive my Sacrament, which was
cruelly refused me, as well as leave for my body to be removed and the
power of making a free will, or writing anything except what shall pass
through their hands and be subject to the good pleasure of their
mistress. In default of that, I confess in general the gravity of my
sins, as I had intended to do to you in particular, begging you in the
name of God to pray and watch with me this night in satisfaction for my
sins, and to send me your absolution and pardon for the things in which
I have offended you. I shall try to see you in their presence, as they
have allowed me to see the steward,[#] and if I am allowed, I shall ask
the blessing on my knees before all.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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