_Q_. What is the religion of the Italians? _A_. They are Roman Catholics. _Q_. What do the Roman Catholics worship? _A_. Idols and a piece of bread. _Q_. Would not God be very angry if He knew the Italians worshipped idols and a piece of bread? _A_. God IS very angry. Mr. Augustine Birrell, if still interested in educational phenomena, will not be surprised to learn that when I reached to man's estate I 'embraced the errors of Rome,' as my historical manual would have phrased it. I pity the child who did not learn universal history from Collier. How tame are the periods of Lord Acton, the Rev. William Hunt, Froude, Freeman, Oman, Round, even Macaulay, and little Arthur, beside the rich Elethian periods of William Francis Collier. Not Berenson, not Byron, not Beerbohm, have given us such a picture of Venice as Collier in describing the Council of Ten:-- The ten were terrible; but still more terrible were the three inquisitors--two black, one red--appointed in 1454. Deep mystery hung over the three. They were elected by the ten; none else knew their names. Their great work was to kill; and no man--doge, councillor, or inquisitor--was beyond their reach. Secretly they pronounced a doom; and ere long the stiletto or the poison cup had done its work, or the dark waters of the lagoon had closed over a life. The spy was everywhere. No man dared to speak out, for his most intimate companions might be on the watch to betray him. Bronze vases, shaped like a lion's mouth, gaped at the corner of every square to receive the names of suspected persons. Gloom and suspicion haunted gondola and hearth!! It is owing to Collier that I know at least one fact about the Goths who took Rome, 'having reduced the citizens to feed on mice and nettles, A.D. 546,' a diet to which many of the hotel proprietors in the imperial city still treat their clients. But let _Bellows' Dictionary_, a friend and instructor of riper years, close my list of great examples and my theme. The criticism is apposite to myself, and its only oddity--its Elethian quality, if I may say so--is its presence in that marvellous miniature whose ingenious author you would never suspect could have found room for such portentous observations in the small duodecimo to which he confined himself:-- Unaffected language is the inseparable accompaniment of natural refinement; but that affectation which would make up for paucity of thought by overstrained expression is a mark of vulgarity from which no accident of social position can redeem those who are guilty of it. _To_ MORE ADEY, ESQ. THERE IS NO DECAY. _A Lecture delivered in the Old Bluecoat School, Liverpool, on February 12th, 1908_.