He would sometimes skirt the edge of the thought that was consuming
him, begin a sentence boldly, and then let it trail off into a kind of
hurried whisper, or turn it to another end.
"All going well?" he would begin interrogatively, as Scales entered his
private room. "Ah! there are some things I wanted to talk over with
you, Scales--important things, you know."
For a moment his eyes would search the crafty face of the clerk, and
then he would add, "But it doesn't matter, just now. I'm busy
to-day--very busy. Another time will do."
"I'm at your service whenever you like," Scales would say, with a kind
of half-defiant obsequiousness.
"No, no; not now. I'm too busy to-day. Another time." And then he
would rustle the papers on his desk, with a great pretence of business,
and drop his gaze, and go on muttering aimlessly, "Another time,
Scales, when I'm a little stronger, you know."
When Scales left the room he would sit quiet for a long time, and gaze
out of the window, his eyes always falling at last on the gray roof of
the Mansion House.
He never looked in that direction without receiving a new impulse to
his ambition. From the silent doors of that great house he saw himself
issuing forth triumphant, the conqueror of circumstance, seated in a
golden carriage drawn by noble horses, with the applauding crowd
thronging at his wheels. He adorned his triumph with new features day
by day, wearied his invention to create them, and dwelt upon them with
a childish ardour of delight. There were even moments when they ceased
to be imaginary; they had the glow and substance of reality, and he
could hear the beating of the horses' hoofs upon the asphalt, the crash
of music, and the raucous shouting of the crowd.
Then a cold, gray cloud obscured the vision, a gust of cold air set him
shivering, and he was alone once more with his silent fear.
In his own home his conduct was marked by the same contradictions. He
would arrive from the city at nightfall, enter the house in a fierce
bustle of energy, talking eagerly, laughing loudly; and then, as like
as not, in the midst of dinner, would relapse into a heavy silence.
The chief subject of his talk on these occasions, was the things he
meant to do with his increasing wealth. He had engaged a firm of
architects to plan a country house for him, although the site was not
yet found nor the estate bought. He would spend hours over the details
of this house. It would be such a house as was never built before. It
should have a marble swimming-pool, electric ovens, and a vast
palm-garden. For its decoration he would import marble fireplaces from
Italian palaces, tapestries from France, oak carving from Holland. Of
course it would have a picture-gallery--every gentleman had that. He
would employ an expert to collect the pictures. And of course there
would be a great library, and vast stables, and a private golf-course,
and sheets of ornamental water, and extensive gardens.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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