And then he began to talk in a loud, scornful, hectoring voice.
Failure? Only fools talked of failure, and they failed themselves
because they were fools. He was going to start again. He would start
that very day. No sensible man would think the worse of him for what
had happened. There were scores of men in the city who had come much
nearer a prison than he had; and what were they now? They were rich,
honoured, respected. They had succeeded, and no one reminded them of
past misfortunes. The very men who had tried to ruin them were now
licking their boots. Well, he'd have the world licking his boots, too,
before he died. Only he'd kick their lying faces in when the time
came, that's what he'd do. He'd teach them. He'd let them know what
kind of man Archibold Masterman was.
There was much more of the same kind, a loud outrageous monologue, to
which Arthur listened with a sinking heart. It was obviously useless
to interrupt or interfere. It was the fierce outcry of a man in
torment, the immedicable torment of an injured pride. And, as Arthur
looked upon that coldly furious face, he began to suspect, what was
indeed the truth, that his father's mind hung upon the verge of madness.
And this impression was confirmed when, without warning, the gust of
rage ceased, and was replaced by a pathetic weak humility.
"I somehow don't feel well this morning. I didn't sleep last night.
Perhaps I'd better wait a day or two and get my strength built up. O
Arthur! I've had lots to try me. I've had a hard life, with very
little in it but toil and trouble. And I'm a man that's had sorrows.
Your mother's dead. They buried her while I was in gaol. They
wouldn't give me bail at first. Did I tell you that? When they let me
out on bail, she'd gone. They'd buried her in Highbourne Cemetery.
They showed me her grave. And Helen wasn't pleased with me. I did
everything I could to please the girl. And yet, when my trouble came,
she flew at me like a cat. And she's gone away too--I don't know
where. I reckon she thinks me a poor kind of father. Well--well--I'm
a man that's had sorrows. And I suppose you'll be going away too? Eh?"
"Father, father, you know I won't go away. I love you, and you used to
love me. Don't you love me still?"
"Well, I don't know, Arthur. I don't know that I love any one. It
doesn't seem much good loving people, does it? They always go away.
Well--well----"
And then he relapsed into a gloomy silence, from which nothing could
arouse him. So he sat for hours, gazing out of window, until he fell
asleep in his chair.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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