McClure's Magazine, Vol. XXXI, No. 3, July 1908.Various
History
McClure's Magazine, Vol. XXXI, No. 3, July 1908.
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Literature -- Periodicals
Dosia sat there, her hand clasping Billy's sleeve as at first--something
tangible to hold on to. Her gaze had gone far beyond the room; even that
haunting consciousness that Bailey Girard was near her was but a far,
hidden subconsciousness. She was out on a rocky slope beside a dead
body--Lawson, his head thrown back, those mocking, caressing eyes, those
curving, passionate lips, closed forever, the blood oozing from between
his dark locks. As ever with poor Dosia, there was that sharp,
unbearable pang of self-reproach, of self-condemnation. Of what avail
her prayers, her belief in him, when he had died thus? Oh, she had not
prayed enough. She had not been good enough to be allowed to help; she
had not believed hard enough. Perhaps it had helped just a little--he
had "tried to keep pretty straight, all but the drinking; that was too
much for him."
That covered some resistance in an underworld of which she knew nothing.
Poor Lawson, who had never had the right chance, whose youth had been
poisoned at the start! In that grave where he lay, drunkard and reveler,
part of the youth of her, Dosia Linden,--once his promised wife, to whom
she had given herself in her soul,--must always lie too, buried with
him; nothing could undo that. To die so causelessly! But the miners had
cared a little; he had been kind to a woman and her little
children--"the kids had thought the world of him"; she was "a true
mourner, Mrs. Wilson." Dosia imagined him cheeringly cooking for this
poor, worn-out mother, carrying the children from place to place as she
had once seen him carry that little boy home from the ball, long, long
ago.
A strain from that unforgotten music came to her now, carrying her to
the stars! Oh, not for Lawson the splendid rehabilitation of the strong,
except in that one moment of denial when he had risen by the might of
his manhood in renunciation for her sake; only the humble virtues of his
weakness could be his--yet perhaps, in the sight of the God who pities,
no such small offering, after all!
"Dosia, you didn't really _care_ for him!"
She smiled with pale lips and brimming eyes--an enigmatic answer which
Billy could not read. He sat beside her, smoothing her dress furtively,
until she got up, and, whispering, "I must go," left the room,
unconscious of Girard's following gaze.
"I think we'd better be getting back," said the latter, in an odd voice,
rising in the middle of one of Justin's sentences, as Billy came
straying in to join the group.
Lois' heart leaped. She had felt that another moment of live bait and
reminiscences would be more than she could stand.
"You need some rest," she said gratefully. "You have been tired out in
our service."
"Oh, I'm not tired at all," he returned, shortly. Her work seemed to
catch his eye for the first time and, in a desire to change the subject,
"What are you making?" he asked.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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