"Sergeant Stone," interrupted his captain vehemently, "if you've been such an ass as to try to write poetry, I'll be condemned if I keep you as Top of _my_ troop. No, don't attempt to explain; I know it all! There's a girl at the bottom of it: there always is. Poetry leads to everything and anything. Soon you'll be neglecting your duties, and then, I warn you,--_I warn you_,--you're busted! 'Member Sergeant Johnson? Good soldier, but very foolish man. Went and got married--what a fool! No good any more. Poetry will do the same for you." Stone had been trying to stem the torrent. "For the Lord's sake, Captain, what do you take me for? I haven't been writin' any poetry." "What do you mean, then, insinuating that you have? There's only one man living now who _can_ write poetry, but be hanged if I'd want him in my troop." "Still," said Stone, with his boyish, dimpling grin, "you've a poet in the troop, in spite of you. It's Teddy Ryan." "Ryan! That freckled kid? Why, he's a pretty fair soldier. Reckon his poetry must be right rotten. Don't believe he knows enough to spell 'cat,' even. What you got there? Hand 'em over, only hurry up. I got to go to headquarters soon. Oh, this is goin' to be a picnic!" Shorty was chuckling over the soiled scraps. The first one was ominously entitled "Destinny, by Prvt. T. Ryan 5th Mont. Inf. U. S. V. 1898," and set forth: I do not like my tacks and bacon, They allus sets my belly aken. I do not like to tote a gun, It seems like I was son of one. And lots of other things they done to me I do not like at all. I wish I never had inlisted My feet is allus gettin' blistered It's allus drillin drillin drillin And eating grub that isent fillin. And that is why I do not wanter stay. And O By jimminy dont i wish my time was up and i could get away. "You bet he did," laughed Shorty. "You read these?" turning to Stone. "Sure. Aren't they rich? Read 'Soljer and Moskeeter' an' 'To My Hoss.' There's a horse on you in that last." "Soldier and Mosquito" proved to be a dialogue. SOLJER AND MOSKEETER Soljer says: "When we do go to bed We do try to sleep instead Of lyeing awake. But we cannot for you kno The pesky moskeeto Our blood does take." Moskeeter says: "When that feller goes to bed he covers up his head In the dark, i cannot cannot eat her so I starve says poor moskeeter, Grim and stark." "Soldier seems to be a he an' a she too. An' he is sure impartial," remarked Captain Campbell. "Even a mosquito must have a point of view--darn little nuisances!" [Illustration: "'ARE YOU INTERESTED IN POETRY, SIR?' HE SAID"] "'Life is one long gorgeous sunset if your head-net works as planned,'" agreed Stone, quoting from the American Mandalay. "Go on an' read 'To My Hoss,' You'll appreciate that." TO MY HOSS