“Yes,” I answered bitterly, my woman’s nature rousing up as I remembered
the times to which he referred. “Yes, and what did it avail me, even
though I was beloved? Ambition proved the stronger attraction of the
two, and you wedded another. You, who, now that other has gone, would
talk again to me of love; but Rosa Lee is no longer a child to be
deceived, and you mistake her strangely, if you fancy you can cast her
off and take her up again at will.”
Here, overcome with emotion, I burst into tears. My words and manner
misled him, for in them he saw only resentment for his former treatment;
and this inspired him with hope that the feeling I once cherished for
him could again be nourished into life. Very tenderly, then, he talked
to me, and, as I listened, a numbness crept over my heart, for I knew he
was in earnest now, and I felt that it was not the Dr. Clayton of
old—the fickle, selfish man of the world—with whom I had to deal, but
Dr. Clayton purified, and made better by the trials through which he had
passed—a noble, true-hearted, and upright man—who now laid at my feet
the love which I knew had always been mine. Very earnestly he implored
forgiveness for the wrong he once had done me, saying that for it he had
been terribly punished, inasmuch as he had suffered far more than I. And
still he breathed no word of censure against his erring wife, who, he
said, was perhaps more sinned against than sinning, and who, when the
last great agony was upon her, had whispered in his ear, as her white,
clammy hand rested on the flowing curls of little Rose, “Her mother, I
know, will be she whose name she bears, and I am willing it should be
so.”
“And was she not right?” he continued, drawing me closer to his side.
“Will you not be the angel of my home, the mother of my child?”
And then again he told me how much I had been loved; how he had striven
in vain to cast me from his heart, when it was madness and sin to keep
me there; and how, when his horizon had been darkest with want and care,
there was still in the distance a ray of sunlight, the remembrance of
me, which had kept his soul from fainting. And now that it was right for
him to speak to me of love, would I not listen and give him an
opportunity to atone for the wrong he had once done me? He paused for my
reply. There was silence in the room, and I counted each pulse of my
beating heart as it throbbed with the intensity of my excitement.
“Will not my darling answer me?” he said, and I felt his breath upon my
cheek, his lips upon my brow.
Not thus could I sit and tell him what duty bade me say. So I moved
away, and standing up before him, I said, slowly, and distinctly, “Dr.
Clayton, I loved you once, but the time has gone by, the love has died
out, and I would not awaken it if I could.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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