I thought of Mrs. Lansing. She was a woman—she had been kind to me of
late, and after a few moments’ reflection I determined to ask her
advice. This being settled, I fell into a disturbed sleep, from which I
did not wake until the bell was ringing for breakfast. I met him at the
table, and my heart beat fast when I saw how anxiously he scanned my
haggard face.
“You are sick this morning,” he said, when at last we were alone.
Taking my hand he felt my quickened pulse, and continued, “This must not
be. Calm yourself down, for I would not wish you to answer me under all
this excitement.”
Soon after this he left me, going down to the hotel where he had first
stopped on his arrival at W——. As soon as he was gone I sought an
interview with Mrs. Lansing, to whom I confided the whole story of my
former love for Dr. Clayton, and of my feelings now, asking her to tell
me as a friend what I should do. I did not dare look her in the face
while I was talking, and when I had finished I waited with downcast eyes
for her answer, which was characteristic of a woman who had never known
what love was, save as she felt it for her children.
“Do! Why, marry him of course. I should not hesitate a moment, for ’tis
not every girl in your circumstances who has an offer like that. He
seems to be a perfect gentleman,—is certainly very fine looking—is
refined, polished, highly educated, and has a good profession. What more
can you desire?”
“_Love_ for him,” I replied; and she continued, “Pshaw! _That_ will come
soon enough, depend upon it. There are many happy marriages where one of
the parties had at first no particular affection for the other, as I
myself can testify. I _respected_ Mr. Lansing, when I married him, but I
did not _love_ him, and our union was, I am confident, far happier than
three-fourths of those where _love_ is the ruling motive, for in nine
cases out of ten they grow sick of each other as faults and
peculiarities are brought to light, of whose existence they had never
dreamed. Take your own case for an example. Suppose you had married Dr.
Clayton when you fancied him so much, you would undoubtedly have been
disgusted with him by this time, whereas, now that you know he is
fallible, you can safely link your destiny with his, feeling sure that
in good time the love you once had for him will return.”
I knew there was some truth in this argument, but it failed to convince
me, and I remained silent until Mrs. Lansing startled me with, “You do
not of course love another?”
I was taken by surprise, and without a thought of the result, I answered
“I do.”
“And that other?” she continued, fixing her eyes upon me.
I know not what possessed me, but a power I could not resist impelled me
to answer, “Is your brother.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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