"Ah, if we only had some evidence of that; but it is all dark, dark, on
the other side of death, and on the other side of life too. Whence came
we--whither do we tend? What power sent Sirius and all that galaxy of
suns marching serenely through space? We, in our little planet-ship,
falling into line, going like comets one day, and then vanishing; but the
worlds moving on unconscious of our departure, and yet some power
controls them and us. Medoline, to have my faith anchored as yours is, to
a beneficent, all-powerful God, I would be willing to die this instant if
I might be absorbed into Him, or be taken into his presence forever. You
who can calmly accept your religion as you do the atmosphere you inhale,
should live as far above earthly passions and entanglements, as those
light clouds hanging in yonder vault are above the earth; nay, rather
like the stars which only touch us by that law of the universe that
holds the remotest stars together."
"Have you tried any more earnestly to find the God of the Bible than you
have done Boodh or Vishnu, or other man-created deities?" I asked.
He turned to me in his keen, incisive way:--"No, Medoline, I cannot say
that I have--not since boyhood, at least, when my mother, who loved the
God whom Israel served so indifferently, endeavored to train my
rebellious will to His service."
"You have lived all these years Godless?"
"In plain English, yes."
"Then that great star, Sirius, you just spoke of, and all the other suns,
and their systems, as well as the humblest created things, have fulfilled
the purposes of their Maker's will, save the last supreme effort of His
power--man, originally made a 'little lower than God.' I wonder that I
honor you as I do, when you deny the existence of my God and Saviour."
He looked down at me with a gentleness at which I was surprised, and his
next question did not lessen this.
"Would you be terrified if death, in some form, were suddenly to seize
you, dismissing you from your present environments into the unclothed
state, could you trust, to the uttermost, this mighty Being whose
friendship you so confidently claim?"
I paused before replying. Certainly death just then did not seem welcome.
I loved life and enjoyed it, and longed for its fuller experiences. As I
studied his question, there came a fear that, since I clung with such
desire to life, I could not be fitted for higher places. No doubt he saw
the pained, uncertain look on my face, which his question had caused.
"If God wished for me to leave this world," I said, slowly, "no doubt he
would give me the necessary grace and fortitude to do so patiently; but
I do not want to die now, unless it is His will. I love my life, and
would like to serve my generation for a good many years. There are such
grand opportunities to be useful to others."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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