The old caressing name he had given me long ago, surely he must have
forgiven me or he would not use it now. But I was not satisfied without
the assurance that we were to take up again the kindly relations of the
past; and so with an effort that seemed likely to sweep me back
dangerously near that shore I had so lately been skirting, I looked up
and said: "I am sorry I displeased you; won't you forgive me?" My voice
was so weak I was afraid he could not catch the words I uttered; but he
folded my thin, shadowy hand in his, which seemed so strong and muscular
I fancied it could hold me back from the gates of Death if its owner so
willed, and after a few seconds' silence, he said, gently: "You must
never think of that again, Medoline. Just rest, and come back to us.
We all want you more than we can tell."
"Then I am forgiven, and you will trust me once more," I pleaded softly.
"Yes, Medoline, as I expect to be trusted by you," he said, with a
solemnity that made me tremble. My eyes closed in utter weariness and
then I seemed to be floating, floating over summer seas, and under such
peaceful, blessed skies, I began to wonder if I was not passing out to
the quiet coast bordering on the Heavenly places.
Of one thing only was I certain--the hand that still held mine, which
kept me from drifting quite away from the shores of time. I tried to
cling to it, but my hand could only lie nerveless within its firm grasp.
I believed if once the hold was loosened I should slip quietly out into
the broader sea just beyond me. I wondered which was best--life or
death,--then far down in my soul I seemed to grow strong, and could
calmly say, "as God wills;" and for a long time I seemed to be passively
awaiting His will. It was very strange, the thoughts I had, lying there
so far within the border land; as if the faculties of mind and soul had
nearly slipped the fleshly leash, and independently of their environment,
boldly held counsel, and speculated on the possibilities of their
immediate future.
But gradually the wheels of life began to turn more strongly. When next
I opened my eyes the daylight was softly penetrating the closely drawn
curtains. Mrs. Flaxman was standing near, looking worn and pale; but Mrs.
Blake was also there, and loomed up before me, strong as ever--a look
into her kindly face was like a tonic. When she saw me watching her she
turned around, and very softly whispered to Mrs. Flaxman, who, casting a
startled, anxious glance towards me, went silently from the room.
Mrs. Blake, without speaking, gave me some nourishment. After I had taken
it I began to feel more like a living creature.
"Mrs. Blake," I whispered. She stooped down to listen. "Tell me, please,
how long I have lain here."
"A good long bit, but the doctor says we mustn't talk to you, or let you
talk."
"I am so tired thinking; won't you sing to me?"
"My voice ain't no great shakes; but I'll do the very best I can for you,
dearie."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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