Melincourt : $b or, Sir Oran Haut-TonPeacock, Thomas Love
General
Melincourt : $b or, Sir Oran Haut-Ton
Peacock, Thomas Love
English fiction -- 19th century; Orangutans -- Fiction; Satire
They followed a narrow winding path through rocky and sylvan hills.
They walked in straggling parties of ones, twos, and threes. Mr.
Forester and Anthelia went first. Sir Oran Haut-ton followed alone,
playing a pensive tune on his flute. Sir Telegraph Paxarett walked
between his aunt and cousin, the Honourable Mrs. Pinmoney and Miss
Danaretta. Mr. Hippy, in a melancholy vein, brought up the rear with
Mr. Fax. A very beautiful child which had sat on the old gentleman’s
knee, at the inn where they breakfasted, had thrown him, not for the
first time on a similar occasion, into a fit of dismal repentance that
he had not one of his own: he stalked along accordingly, with a most
ruefully lengthened aspect, uttering every now and then a deep-drawn
sigh. Mr. Fax in philosophic sympathy determined to console him, by
pointing out to him the true nature and tendency of the principle of
population, and the enormous evils resulting from the multiplication
of the human species: observing that the only true criterion of the
happiness of a nation was to be found in the number of its old maids
and bachelors, whom he venerated as the sources and symbols of
prosperity and peace. Poor Mr. Hippy walked on sighing and groaning,
deaf as the adder to the voice of the charmer: for, in spite of all
the eloquence of the antipopulationist, the image of the beautiful
child which he had danced on his knee continued to haunt his
imagination, and threatened him with the blue devils for the rest of
the day.
‘I see,’ said Sir Telegraph to Mrs. Pinmoney, ‘my hopes are at an end.
Forester is the happy man, though I am by no means sure that he knows it
himself.’
‘Impossible,’ said Mrs. Pinmoney; ‘Anthelia may be amused a little while
with his rhapsodies, but nothing more, believe me. The man is out of his
mind. Do you know, I heard him say the other day, “that not a shilling
of his property was his own, that it was a portion of the general
possession of human society, of which the distribution had devolved upon
him: and that for the mode of that distribution he was most rigidly
responsible to the principles of immutable justice.” If such a mode of
talking——’
‘And acting too,’ said Sir Telegraph; ‘for I assure you he quadrates his
practice as nearly as he can to his theory.’
‘Monstrous!’ said Mrs. Pinmoney, ‘what would our reverend friend, poor
dear Doctor Bosky, say to him? But if such a way of talking and acting
be the way to win a young heiress, I shall think the whole world is
turned topsy-turvy.’
‘Your remark would be just,’ said Sir Telegraph, ‘were that young
heiress any other than Anthelia Melincourt.’
‘Well,’ said Mrs. Pinmoney, ‘there are maidens in Scotland more lovely
by far——’
‘That I deny,’ said Sir Telegraph.
‘Who will gladly be bride to the young Lochinvar,’ proceeded Mrs.
Pinmoney.
‘That will not do,’ said Sir Telegraph: ‘I shall resign with the best
grace I can muster to a more favoured candidate, but I shall never think
of another choice.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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