_The Bridegroom._ Vor zartin—in a zort o’ way; and bad enough at best. But I wants no more to do wi’ t’ parish than parish wi’ me. _Mr. Fax._ I dare say you do not, at present. But, my good friend, when the cares of a family come upon you, your independence of spirit will give way to necessity; and if, by any accident, you are thrown out of work, as in the present times many honest fellows are, what will you do then? _The Bridegroom._ Do the best I can, measter, az I always does, and nobody can’t do no better. _Mr. Fax._ Do you suppose, then, you are doing the best you can now, in marrying, with such a doubtful prospect before you? How will you bring up your children? _The Bridegroom._ Why, in the vear o’ the Lord, to be zure. _Mr. Fax._ Of course: but how will you bring them up to get their living? _The Bridegroom._ That’s as thereafter may happen. They woan’t starve, I’se warrant ’em, if they teakes after their veyther. But I zees now who General Reason be. He be one o’ your sinecure vundholder peaper-money taxing men, as isn’t satisfied wi’ takin’ t’ bread out o’ t’ poor man’s mouth, and zending his chilern to army and navy, and vactories, and suchlike, but wants to take away his wife into t’ bargain. _Mr. Fax._ There, my honest friend, you have fallen into a radical mistake, which I shall try to elucidate for your benefit. It is owing to poor people having more children than they can maintain, that those children are obliged to go to the army and navy, and consequently that statesmen and conquerors find so many ready instruments for the oppression and destruction of the human species: it follows, therefore, that if people would not marry till they could be certain of maintaining all their children comfortably at home—— _The Bridegroom._ Lord love you, that be all mighty voine rigmarole; but the short and the long be this: I can’t live without Zukey, nor Zukey without I, can you, Zukey? _The Bride._ No, zure, Robin. _The Bridegroom._ Now there be a plain downright honest-hearted old English girl; none o’ your quality madams, as zays one thing and means another; and zo you may tell General Reason he may teake away chair and teable, salt-box and trencher, bed and bedding, pig and pig-stye, but neither he nor all his peaper-men together shall take away his own Zukey vrom Robin Ruddyfeace; if they shall I’m doomed.