_Mr. Forester._ If a poet be contented to consider himself in the light of a merry-andrew, be it so. But if he assume the garb of moral austerity, and pour forth against corruption and oppression the language of moral indignation, there would at least be some decency, if, when he changes sides, he would let the world see that conversion and promotion have not gone hand in hand. _Mr. Feathernest._ What decency might be in that, I know not: but of this I am very certain, that there would be no wisdom in it. _Mr. Anyside Antijack._ No! no! there would be no wisdom in it. _Mr. Feathernest._ Sir, I am a wise and a good man: mark that, sir; ay, and an honourable man. _Mr. Vamp._ ‘So are we all, all honourable men!’ _Mr. Anyside Antijack._ And we will stick by one another with heart and hand—— _Mr. Killthedead._ To make a stand against popular encroachment—— _Mr. Feathernest._ To bring back the glorious ignorance of the feudal ages—— _Mr. Paperstamp._ To rebuild the mystic temples of venerable superstition—— _Mr. Vamp._ To extinguish, totally and finally, the light of the human understanding—— _Mr. Anyside Antijack._ And to get all we can for our trouble! _Mr. Feathernest._ So we will all say. _Mr. Paperstamp._ And so we will all sing. QUINTETTO MR. FEATHERNEST, MR. VAMP, MR. KILLTHEDEAD, MR. PAPERSTAMP, AND MR. ANYSIDE ANTIJACK To the tune of ‘_Turning, turning, turning, as the wheel goes round_.’ RECITATIVE—MR. PAPERSTAMP Jack Horner’s CHRISTMAS PIE my learned nurse Interpreted to mean the _public purse_. From thence a _plum_ he drew. O happy Horner! Who would not be ensconced in thy snug corner? THE FIVE While round the public board all eagerly we linger, For what we can get we will try, try, try: And we’ll all have a finger, a finger, a finger, We’ll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE. MR. FEATHERNEST By my own poetic laws, I’m a dealer in applause For those who don’t deserve it, but will buy, buy, buy: So round the court I linger, and thus I get a finger, A finger, finger, finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE. THE FIVE And we’ll all have a finger, a finger, a finger, We’ll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE. MR. VAMP My share of pie to win, I will dash through thick and thin, And philosophy and liberty shall fly, fly, fly: And truth and taste shall know, that their everlasting foe Has a finger, finger, finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE. THE FIVE And we’ll all have a finger, a finger, a finger, We’ll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE. MR. KILLTHEDEAD