_Mr. Hippy._ Nor I, I must say. All the difference is in the form, and not in the fact. It is a pity that form does not come into fashion; it would save a world of trouble. _Mr. Sarcastic._ I irreparably offended the Reverend Doctor Vorax by telling him, that having a nephew, whom I wished to shine in the church, I was on the look-out for a luminous butler, and a cook of solid capacity, under whose joint tuition he might graduate. ‘Who knows,’ said I, ‘but he may immortalise himself at the University, by giving his name to a pudding?’—I lost the acquaintance of Mrs. Cullender, by saying to her, when she had told me a piece of gossip as a very particular secret, that there was nothing so agreeable to me as to be in possession of a secret, for I made a point of telling it to all my acquaintance; Intrusted under solemn vows, Of Mum, and Silence, and the Rose, To be retailed again in whispers, For the easy credulous to disperse.[56] Mrs. Cullender left me in great wrath, protesting she would never again throw away _her_ confidence on so leaky a vessel. _Sir Telegraph Paxarett._ Ha! ha! ha! Bravo! Come, a bumper to Mrs. Cullender. _Mr. Sarcastic._ With all my heart; and another if you please to Mr. Christopher Corporate, the free, fat, and dependent burgess of Onevote, of which ‘plural unit’ the Honourable Baronet and myself are to be the joint representatives. (_Sir Oran Haut-ton bowed._) _Mr. Hippy._ And a third, by all means, to his Grace the Duke of Rottenburgh. _Mr. Sarcastic._ And a fourth, to crown all, to _the blessings of virtual representation_, which I shall endeavour to impress on as many of the worthy citizens of Novote as shall think fit to be present, the day after to-morrow, at the proceedings of the borough of Onevote. _Sir Telegraph Paxarett._ And now for tea and coffee. Touch the bell for the waiter. The bottles and glasses vanished, and the beautiful array of urns and cups succeeded. Sir Telegraph and Mr. Hippy seceded from the table, and resigned their stations to Mrs. and Miss Pinmoney. _Mr. Forester._ Your system is sufficiently amusing, but I much question its utility. The object of moral censure is reformation, and its proper vehicle is plain and fearless sincerity: VERBA ANIMI PROFERRE, ET VITAM IMPENDERE VERO.