“In its first, with the innocent and venial art of woman, she had tried
to interest him by the display of her new acquirements, without the
consciousness that they were not new to him. The harmony of civilized
society, of which she was at once weary and proud, was discord to his
ear. He had examined all the strings that formed this curious but
ill-constructed instrument, and found them all false.
“In the second, she was satisfied with merely beholding him. His
presence formed the atmosphere of her existence--in it alone she
breathed. She said to herself, as evening approached, “I shall see
him!”--and the burden of life rolled from her heart as she internally
uttered the words. The constraint, the gloom, the monotony of her
existence, vanished like clouds at the sun, or rather like those clouds
assuming such gorgeous and resplendent colours, that they seemed to have
been painted by the finger of happiness itself. The brilliant hue
diffused itself over every object of her eye and heart. Her mother
appeared no longer a cold and gloomy bigot, and even her brother seemed
kind. There was not a tree in the garden whose foliage was not illumined
as by the light of a setting sun; and the breeze spoke to her in a voice
whose melody was borrowed from her own heart.
“When at length she saw him,--when she said to herself, He is
there,--she felt as if all the felicity of earth was comprised in that
single sensation,--at least she felt that all her own was. She no longer
indulged the wish to attract or to subdue him--absorbed in his
existence, she forgot her own--immersed in the consciousness of her own
felicity, she lost the wish, or rather the pride, of BESTOWING it. In
the impassioned revelry of the heart, she flung the pearl of existence
into the draught in which she pledged her lover, and saw it melt away
without a sigh. But now she was beginning to feel, that for this
intensity of feeling, this profound devotedness, she was entitled at
least to an honourable acknowledgement on the part of her lover; and
that the mysterious delay in which her existence was wasted, might make
that acknowledgement come perhaps too late. She expressed this to him;
but to these appeals, (not the least affecting of which had no language
but that of looks), he replied only by a profound but uneasy silence, or
by a levity whose wild and frightful sallies had something in them still
more alarming.
“At times he appeared even to insult the heart over which he had
triumphed, and to affect to doubt his conquest with the air of one who
is revelling in its certainty, and who mocks the captive by asking “if
it is really in chains?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account