“She did not long survive the interview, nor did she ever recover the
use of speech. Her powerful intellect was, however, unimpaired; and to
the last she expressed herself most intelligibly by action, as
determined not to hear a word explanatory of Sandal’s conduct. This
explanation was therefore made to Margaret, who, though much shocked and
agitated at the first disclosure, seemed afterwards perfectly reconciled
to it. * * * * * * * *
“Shortly after the receipt of these letters, Elinor took a sudden, but
perhaps not singular resolution,--she determined to set out immediately
for Mortimer Castle. It was not her weariness of the withering life, the
αβιωτος βιος she lived at her Puritanic aunt’s--it was not the wish
to enjoy again the stately and splendid ceremonial of Mortimer Castle,
contrasted with the frugal fare and monastic rigour of the cottage in
Yorkshire--it was not even the wish for that change of place that
always flatters us with change of circumstance, as if we did not carry
our own hearts with us wherever we go, and might not therefore be sure
that an innate and eroding ulcer must be our companion from the Pole to
the Equator--it was not this, but a whisper half unheard, yet believed,
(just in proportion as it was inaudible and incredible), that murmured
from the bottom of her credulous heart, ‘Go--and _perhaps_’--
“Elinor set out on her journey, and after having performed it with fewer
difficulties than can be imagined, considering the state of the roads,
and the modes of travelling in the year 1667 or thereabouts, she arrived
in the vicinity of Mortimer Castle. It was a scene of reminiscence to
her,--her heart throbbed audibly as the carriage stopped at a Gothic
gate, through which there was a walk between two rows of lofty elms. She
alighted, and to the request of the servant who followed her, that he
might be permitted to shew her the way through a path entangled by the
intersecting roots of the trees, and dim with twilight, she answered
only by her tears. She waved him off, and advanced on foot and alone.
She remembered, from the bottom of her soul, how she had once wandered
amid that very grove with John Sandal--how his smile had shed a richer
light on the landscape, than even the purple smile of the dying
day-light. She thought of that smile, and lingered to catch it amid the
rich and burning hues flung by the fading light on the many-tinted boles
of the ancient trees. The trees were there--and the light was there--but
his smile, that once eclipsed the sun-light, was there no longer!
“She advanced alone--the lofty avenue of trees still retained its
magnificent depth of shade, and gorgeous colouring of trunk and leaf.
She sought among them for that which she had once felt--and God and
nature alone are conscious of the agony with which we demand from them
the object which we are conscious was once consecrated to our hearts,
and which we now require of both in vain! God withholds,--and Nature
denies them!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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