Memoir, Correspondence, and Miscellanies, From the Papers of Thomas Jefferson, Volume 4Jefferson, Thomas
History
Memoir, Correspondence, and Miscellanies, From the Papers of Thomas Jefferson, Volume 4
Jefferson, Thomas
United States -- Politics and government -- 1775-1783; United States -- Politics and government -- 1783-1865
I have mentioned good humor as one of the preservatives of our peace and
tranquillity. It is among the most effectual, and its effect is so well
imitated and aided, artificially, by politeness, that this also becomes
an acquisition of first-rate value. In truth, politeness is artificial
good humor, it covers the natural want of it, and ends by rendering
habitual a substitute nearly equivalent to the real virtue. It is the
practice of sacrificing to those whom we meet in society, all the little
conveniences and preferences which will gratify them, and deprive us of
nothing worth a moment’s consideration; it is the giving a pleasing and
flattering turn to our expressions, which will conciliate others, and
make them pleased with us as well as themselves. How cheap a price for
the good will of another! When this is in return for a rude thing said
by another, it brings him to his senses, it mortifies and corrects
him in the most salutary way, and places him at the feet of your good
nature, in the eyes of the company. But in stating prudential rules for
our government in society I must not omit the important one of never
entering into dispute or argument with another. I never yet saw an
instance of one of two disputants convincing the other by argument. I
have seen many, of their getting warm, becoming rude, and shooting one
another. Conviction is the effect of our own dispassionate reasoning,
either in solitude, or weighing within ourselves, dispassionately, what
we hear from others, standing uncommitted in argument ourselves. It was
one of the rules, which, above all others, made Doctor Franklin the most
amiable of men in society, ‘never to contradict any body.’ If he was
urged to announce an opinion, he did it rather by asking questions, as
if for information, or by suggesting doubts. When I hear another express
an opinion which is not mine, I say to myself, he has a right to his
opinion, as I to mine; why should I question it? His error does me no
injury, and shall I become a Don Quixote, to bring all men by force of
argument to one opinion? If a fact be misstated, it is probable he is
gratified by a belief of it, and I have no right to deprive him of the
gratification. If he wants information, he will ask it, and then I will
give it in measured terms; but if he still believes his own story, and
shows a desire to dispute the fact with me, I hear him, and say nothing.
It is his affair, not mine, if he prefers error. There are two classes
of disputants most frequently to be met with among us. The first is of
young students, just entered the threshold of science, with a first view
of its outlines, not yet filled up with the details and modifications
which a further progress would bring to their knowledge. The other
consists of the ill-tempered and rude men in society, who have taken up
a passion for politics. (Good humor and politeness never introduce
into mixed society a question on which they foresee there will be a
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