who could be angry with him? He was one of the smallest and most delicate
men I ever saw, weighing about 8st. l0lb., a capital rider, and as brave
as a lion, though we always called him “the Mouse.” Full of mother
wit, but utterly uncultivated, it was a perfect marvel how he ever
matriculated, and his answers, and attempts at construing, in lecture
were fabulous—full of good impulse, but fickle as the wind; reckless,
spendthrift, fast, in constant trouble with tradesmen, proctors, and the
College authorities. But no tradesman, when it came to the point, had
the heart to “court,” or proctor to rusticate him; and the Dean, though
constantly in wrath at his misdeeds, never got beyond warnings, and
“gating.” So he held on, until his utter, repeated, and hopeless failure
to pass his “smalls,” brought his college career to its inevitable end.
Unfortunately for my brother’s reading, that career coincided with his
third year, and his society had an extraordinary fascination for the
Mouse. The perfect contrast between them, in mind and body, may probably
account for this; but I think the little man had also a sort of longing
to be decent and respectable, and, in the midst of his wildest scrapes,
felt that his intimacy with the best oar and cricketer in the College,
who was also on good terms with the Dons, and paid his bills, and could
write Greek verses, kept him in touch with the better life of the place,
and was a constant witness to himself of his intention to amend, some
day. They had one taste in common, however, which largely accounted
for my brother’s undoubted affection for the little “ne’er do weel,” a
passion for animals. The Mouse kept two terriers, who were to him as
children, lying in his bosom by night, and eating from his plate by day.
Dogs were strictly forbidden in College, and the vigilance of the porter
was proof against all the other pets. But the Mouse’s terriers defied it.
From living on such intimate terms with their master, they had become as
sharp as undergraduates. They were never seen about the quadrangles in
the day-time, and knew the sound and sight of dean, tutor, and porter,
better than any freshman. When the Mouse went out of College, they would
stay behind on the staircase till they were sure he must be fairly out
in the street, and then scamper across the two quadrangles, and out of
the gate, as if their lives depended on the pace. In the same way, on
returning, they would repeat the process, after first looking cautiously
in at the gate to see that the porter was safe in his den. But after
dusk they were at their ease at once, and would fearlessly trot over the
forbidden grass of the inner quad, or sit at the Provost’s door, or on
the Hall steps, and romp with anybody not in a master’s gown. So, even
when his master’s knock remained unanswered, Crib’s or Jet’s beseeching
whine and scratch would always bring my brother to the door. He could not
resist dogs, or children.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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