“At this time,” his private journal says, “I began to reflect seriously upon my religious opinions. I had indeed long been in the habit of attending to the form of religion, particularly from the period of my having served under that exemplary character, Sir James Saumarez. It had been habitual to me on the approach of danger or battle, to offer up a mental prayer for support; but upon a more deliberate examination I came to the conclusion, that _christianity made no part of my religion_; that it was almost entirely confined to the first sentence in the Prayer book, ‘When the wicked man turneth away from his wickedness,’ &c. I had always felt some indefinite purpose of doing this, and of amending my life; but then it was only done in trying myself by the letter of the commandment; and when there was not a decided breach of duty, I felt perfectly satisfied. With regard to the New Testament, it hardly appeared to me as of any importance; it was seldom read, and less meditated upon. I was scrupulous in performing a certain round of duties, in the cold and heartless manner which may be supposed; but they were all tasks performed in fear, and none in love. The only light which seemed to break through the thick mist of utter darkness, arose from occasional glimpses of the working of Divine Providence. I had very long been in the habit of attributing my successes, and my preservation from danger, to Omnipotence, and not to second causes; but this is the utmost amount of religious feeling to which at that period I could lay any claim. The same merciful and long-suffering Being, who had spared and prospered me, still continued his divine and wonderful forbearance; and I may have been made, even under these appalling circumstances of ignorance and error, an instrument in keeping up among those around me, some faint recollection of spiritual things, so far at least as shewing the worship of God to be a duty, if it were lost sight of as a privilege.”