Often have I tried to reason myself into this firm trust and confidence in the Divine mercy, but the sick bed, the dear disconsolate widow, and the unprotected infant were objects, which with all my efforts, I could not look beyond; and yet, I should have thought the greatest injustice had been done me, if any one at the time had called in question the sincerity of my religious profession. I felt as though I were living in a general, if not a constant practice of its duties. How little do we know ourselves, till the day of trial comes. I could read treatises upon patience and resignation with the most cordial concurrence in every argument; and even wonder that they were not universally efficacious; but when called upon to practice what they prescribed, I found I was indeed living without God in the world. I did not dare to impart these wretched feelings to my beloved and inestimable wife, in the apprehension of affecting her, and thus I lost the balm of her affectionate counsels. “The attack which I experienced, would, I am now convinced, have been of little importance, but for the effect I allowed it to have upon my mind. This aggravated its force, and it soon assumed so serious an appearance as threatened to realize all my apprehensions. What a lesson is this for you, my dear children, to teach you the folly as well as the wickedness of worldly anxiety. How often do the evils we dread never reach us; whilst the blow which humbles us comes from a quarter where we least expected it. Even the events, which seem to menace us with some serious calamity, frequently become instruments of good to us. Nearly thirteen years have now elapsed since this period; and instead of the evil I foreboded, my health has probably been strengthened and preserved, by the care and precaution which that illness rendered necessary. It was the cause of my removing from Verdun to the interior of France, to the most delightful climate, where I soon nearly recovered. All my apprehensions were groundless. I was mercifully preserved to those so justly dear to me, and preserved by a gracious Providence to be the humble instrument of their future welfare.