“The Almighty is indeed merciful to us, and tempers the wind to our situation. You will scarcely believe, my dear Madam, that it should be possible for me to say that for some weeks past I have enjoyed more real tranquillity of mind than I have ever before known. It is nevertheless absolutely true. My happiest days were never unattended with anxiety. They were attended at the same time with a most inadequate idea of the value of the blessings I possessed. That none ever lost a more inestimable treasure, all who knew her are deeply sensible. But I humbly hope that she has shewn me how to live and how to die. I once thought that I was leading a harmless and a blameless life, that I had a right to the rewards of another world. How different are my present sentiments, and how immediately did they change in this last hour of trial. I felt and feel so far from having fulfilled the duties of my station, that every recollection excites remorse by shewing me cause for it. When I thought I was living in the exercise of the fondest affection, how much neglect was admitted, and when I try my religious duties by the same standard, the effect is much more humiliating and awful, but yet the effect is peace. I no longer consider my own merit as the means of my ever rejoining my beloved B.; but the mercy and goodness of God and the atonement made by our blessed Redeemer. This is a foundation which nothing can shake, and this makes me view her as only preceding me for a short time. This consideration, my dear madam, is not a gloomy one. It has not put me out of conceit of this life. That would be impious and ungrateful. I shall enjoy with thankfulness, I hope, the years which a kind Providence may permit me to remain in this world, and endeavour to devote them to the duties of my station, to the education and happiness of my children; but it has taken the sting from death. I think I shall feel no longer any solicitude on that account, and that when called for I shall be able to go through my task with the same serenity that my beloved wife evinced. Had she been preparing for her journey to England, she could not have been more calm and collected. May my last end, may all our last ends be like hers. “Your most dutiful and affectionate “J. B.”