“A whole year has now elapsed, and the retrospect, affecting as it is, nevertheless abounds in comfort. We have that feeling that the world is not our all. If it had been, what would have been our situation now? From my own experience I deeply feel the chastening, but merciful hand of God in these awful dispensations. They have awakened me to a true sense of my situation, and have shewn me, that whilst happy here, my eternal felicity was at stake; for I was guilty of gross idolatry, by allowing every thought to centre in the blessings bestowed upon me, with little more than a nominal reference to the all-merciful Providence from whom I received them. This is the first year of my life in which I can conscientiously claim to have made any progress in religious attainments; for greatly defective as I must still allow myself to be, I feel that I have a deeper sense of the divine presence constantly upon my mind; that I have less of that dreadful repugnance to the service of my Maker, and more energy in the performance of it; and I can feel that in all my pursuits, whether professional or otherwise, I am constantly influenced by a sense of their being religious duties. The memory of what I have lost has scarcely ever been absent from my mind, indeed every thing recalls it, but my tranquillity and even cheerfulness has been greater than at almost any period of my life, for I have lost all cause of anxiety. Formerly I was wretched on account of my own health, about my circumstances and worldly successes, unmindful of the Divine protection who had never deserted me. Now I learn to resign myself to His Divine will; to entrust you, my darling children, to his care; and I have also acquired the conviction that there is no situation in life, however successful we may be in all our pursuits, capable of conferring real and permanent happiness; for had I been placed on the pinnacle of human glory—the admiration, the idol, and the envy of all around me—this blow would have humbled me to the dust, for I can with sincerity say that all my successes in life have derived their chief value from your mother having participated in them. ‘How I dreamt, Of things impossible! Could sleep do more? Of joys perpetual, in perpetual change, Of stable pleasures on the tossing wave, Perpetual sunshine in the storms of life; How richly were my noontide trances hung With gorgeous tapestries of pictured joys, Joy behind joy, in endless perspective!’