Memoir of the Life and Services of Vice-Admiral Sir Jahleel Brenton, Baronet, K.C.B.
History
Memoir of the Life and Services of Vice-Admiral Sir Jahleel Brenton, Baronet, K.C.B.
Admirals -- Great Britain -- Biography; Brenton, Jahleel, Sir, 1770-1844; Great Britain -- History, Naval -- 19th century
were views which I thought it impossible ever to be realized. She was
however, even at that early period, constantly associated with every
prospect that presented itself, as I looked forward to success in my
profession; and so powerful was the attraction which her sweetness of
disposition, and engaging kindness had over me, that although in the
midst of kind relations, I sought her house in preference to all others,
and passed every hour I could get on shore, either there, or where I knew
she was to be found. In the course of the next year, we were separated
by my going to Quebec with my ship; and on my return to Halifax in the
autumn I found, to my great disappointment, that Mr. Stewart had taken
his family back to Maryland. This prevented my feeling any regret from
my father’s recalling me from the station; which he did shortly after,
in order to have me in a ship where I could be rated midshipman; no
vacancy having occurred in the Dido. I carried home with me a sincere,
a tender, and an indelible recollection of the happiness I had enjoyed
in the society of my inestimable friend; an impression that no future
event, changes, or circumstances could ever efface or weaken; although
for many years I dared not indulge a hope of her ever becoming mine.
Indeed I considered it almost impossible, that with such a mind as she
possessed—so cherished as she was by all, who had the happiness of
knowing her, that she could long remain single; and when I had attained
to manhood, and had established in my mind the firm conviction, that
this beloved and amiable creature was of all others the most likely to
ensure my happiness; I did not allow myself to make an effort to obtain
her affections, lest I might never have it in my power to place her in
such a situation as might be worthy of her; and lest it might prevent her
acceptance of the offer of some person more capable of making her happy,
than myself.
“During the course of eleven years from this period of our separation,
in all the varieties of service, situation, and society, in which I was
placed, these sentiments never quitted me. It was not until I rose to the
rank of Commander, that I thought myself justified in looking to her, as
the object of my ambition. I had, during the course of this time, in a
correspondence with my dear cousin, made our mutual friend the subject of
the greater part of our letters; but with little hope or prospect that
my wishes could ever be realized. My beloved Isabella however became
acquainted, by means of these, with the steadiness of my attachment to
her; and it produced, as may be imagined, a reciprocal affection.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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