Memoirs and resolutions of Adam Graeme of Mossgray, including some chronicles of the borough of FendieOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
History
Memoirs and resolutions of Adam Graeme of Mossgray, including some chronicles of the borough of Fendie
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Bildungsromans; Scotland -- History -- 19th century -- Fiction; Youth -- Scotland -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
He held a letter in his hand; the fingers which traced its trembling
lines were now lying in a nameless grave. A worn-out, wearied woman,
prematurely old, and glad to lay down her head in that one place where
the weary are at rest, was the writer of those earnest, living words.
The Laird of Mossgray did not remember that she was old--the past years
were in this moment a fable and a dream to him. He thought of Lilias
only as he saw her last, enshrined in all the pure and gentle dignity of
his young fancies; for Lilias was dead.
And dying, she had revealed to the old man what she was. Not indeed the
lofty lady of his dreaming days, but a gentle, chastened, meek woman,
who knew now, and had long known, the worth of the generous heart she
threw away. In the bitterness of his soul he had believed her an
unsubstantial vision; but the faithful hand of death had brought back to
him the true Lilias, worthy of the place he had given her in his best
days.
“I do not ask you to forgive me,” wrote the dying Lilias, “because I
know that long ago you must have forgiven the witless girl’s heart that
did itself so much more wrong than you. I did not know myself, my own
slight, shallow, girlish self, and pardon me then, Adam Graeme, that I
did not know you. Since then I have learned--what have I not learned
that is bitter and sorrowful? Care, poverty, death, and miserable shames
and humiliations, such as never crossed your path, have been the
constant companions of mine: they are all ending now. I am going hence
to my Lord, and to the children whom He took from me one by one, till my
heart was well-nigh broken; but I cannot go till I make one prayer to
you, one last entreaty for the sake of our youth.
“I would not speak of the time when we last met; in pity to my bitter
lot, and to the dead whose faults we lay with them in the grave to be
forgotten, as I have laid Edward, and as stranger hands shall soon lay
me, do not think of that time. I have one last treasure remaining to me,
one last request to make, and there is no one in the world but you, whom
I have wronged, to whom I can address my prayer.
“Mossgray, I have a child; a friendless, unprotected, solitary girl,
who will soon be left utterly alone. If I shrink from subjecting her to
the cold charity of Walter’s wife, forgive me, because I am her mother.
I know that Lilias is not what I was. I know that our subdued and
clouded life has given to her youth a greater maturity than I had when I
was her mother. I have fancied often that Lilias is what you thought me
to be, and there has been a sad pleasure in the hope, that for her weak
mother’s sake, your heart would melt to my child.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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