“Ha, ha, ha! you old splenetic _Qui Hye_,” I exclaimed, “you are too hard on us ‘Englishers;’ you don’t consider the difference of circumstances, and that, where mouths are many and legs o’mutton few, we must resort to expedients to square supply and demand.” “But,” resumed the rough-spun captain, “now let me fulfil the principal object of my visit, which is to congratulate you.” “For what?” I asked. “What? why are you so ignorant, so out of the world, as not to know that you are promoted?” “Promoted!” exclaimed I; “why Grinnerson said I should be in luck if I got my commission in five years.” The captain put a _Gazette_ into my hand, doubled it up in a compact form, and, striking a particular portion _con spirito_ with his forefinger, “Read that,” said he. I took it in a sort of ecstacy, caught a glimpse of my own name. Yes—there I was, actually in print: “Mr. Gernon, appointed by the Honourable Court of Directors a cadet on this establishment, having reported his arrival at Fort William, is admitted to the service accordingly, and promoted to the rank of ensign.” “Yoics! full ensign!” shouted I, springing up, snapping my fingers, and capering round the room arms a-kimbo, hip and toe, like a sailor dancing a hornpipe, to the infinite astonishment of Marpeet, who thought I had been bitten by a scorpion or snake. “Hey! hey! what’s the matter Gernon? are you mad, you Griff, are you mad?” “I am mad, old square-toes; come along,” said I, hauling him out of his chair; “come and rejoice with me. Promoted already! Yoics! Tally-ho!” In the midst of our uproar and saraband, Grundy entered, and gazed with open mouth, like one moonstruck, at our mad dervish dance. His appearance, however, calmed any ebullition, and pushing Marpeet into his seat, I sunk into mine. “What’s the matter?” said he. “Why, I’m promoted, my honest young ploughshare,” said I, “that’s all; we were footing a jig on the strength of it. I dare say you will find your name there too.” “Oh, yes,” observed Marpeet; “the whole batch of the last griffs are in the general orders. There,” added he, tossing the paper to Grundy, “you’ll find yourself there, farmer, at full length.” Grundy took the paper, and beheld his own mellifluous name; but his pleasure manifested itself in a different manner from mine; he “grinned horribly a ghastly smile.” “As you are so fond of dancing,” said Marpeet, “what say you to joining a hop to-morrow evening?” “With all my heart,” said I; “always ready for a ‘trip on the fantastic toe;’ but who is your friend?” “Why,” rejoined the captain, “I have a ‘provoke’ here from the mistress of the Kidderpore establishment for the orphan daughters of officers (where, by the way, I expect my young Mogulanee will figure some of these days), to attend a dance to-morrow; they have a ball there once a fortnight (I believe), to show off the girls, and give them an opportunity of getting spliced.”