Josephine shrank away from him. He was no longer joking; bending
over her he said quietly: “Just a trace of feeling--just a slightest
trace--that was all you showed. You believed that the child was dead,
dead by your order; and it did not move you at all. With you the death
of others does not count. One is twenty, with all one’s life before
one ... with charm and beauty.... You crush all that, as if you were
cracking a nut. Your conscience does not make one protest. It is true
that you do not laugh; but none the more do you weep. In reality you do
not give it a thought. I remember that Beaumagnan called you a daughter
of Hell--a designation that revolted me. Now I see that he was right.
Hell is in you. You are a kind of monster about whom I can never think
again without horror. But what about you, Josephine? Aren’t there times
when you feel that horror yourself?”
Still sitting at the toilet table, her head resting on her hands,
in the attitude of which she was so fond, she did not stir. Ralph’s
pitiless words did not provoke that access of indignation and fury for
which he was looking. He felt that she was at one of those moments in
life at which one sees into the deepest depths of one’s soul and cannot
turn one’s eyes from the sight.
He was not greatly surprised. Without being frequent, such moments
could not be very uncommon in the life of this unbalanced creature,
whose nature, impassible on the surface, was now and again ravaged
by nervous convulsions in its depths. Matters were turning out so
different from what she had expected, and the apparition of Ralph was
so disconcerting that she was unable to rise to struggle with the enemy
who was so cruelly outraging her.
He took advantage of her weakness, and went on in a voice that demanded
an answer: “Isn’t it a fact, Josine, that at times you terrify
yourself? Aren’t there times when you are full of horror at yourself?”
The distress of Josephine was so profound that she murmured: “Yes--yes
sometimes. But you’re not to speak to me about it. I don’t _want_ to
know. Be quiet--be quiet!”
“But on the contrary, it is necessary that you should know,” said
Ralph. “If such acts fill you with horror, why do you commit them?”
“I can’t help it,” she said faintly in an extreme lassitude.
“You do try then?”
“Yes. I try--I struggle--but it is never any use. I was taught evil. I
do evil as other people do good. I do evil just as I breathe. That was
what they willed.”
“Who?”
“My mother,” she muttered in a low voice.
“Your mother? The spy? The woman who made up all this Cagliostro story?”
“Yes. But you’re not to blame her. She was very fond of me. Only she
had not succeeded.... She had become poor and wretched and she wished
me to succeed ... and grow rich.”
“Yet you were beautiful. And for a woman beauty is riches. Beauty is
enough.”
“My mother was beautiful too; and yet her beauty was of no use to her,”
she retorted.
“You were like her?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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