Autobiographical fiction; Bildungsromans; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Love stories; Sex role -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
'My errors have been the errors of _affection_--Do they deserve this
rigor?'
'Their source is not important, their consequences have been the
same--you make not the allowances you claim.'
'Dear, and severe, friend!--Be not unjust--the confidence which I
sought, and merited, would have been obviated'--
'I know what you would alledge--that confidence, you had reason to
judge, was of a painful nature--it ought not to have been extorted.'
'If I have been wrong, my faults have been severely expiated--if
the error has been _only mine_, surely my sufferings have been in
proportion; seduced by the fervor of my feelings; ignorant of your
situation, if I wildly sought to oblige you to chuse happiness through a
medium of my creation--yet, to have assured _yours_, was I not willing
to risque all my own? I perceive my extravagance, my views were equally
false and romantic--dare I to say--they were the ardent excesses of a
generous mind? Yes! my wildest mistakes had in them a dignified mixture
of virtue. While the institutions of society war against nature and
happiness, the mind of energy, struggling to emancipate itself, will
entangle itself in error'--
'Permit me to ask you,' interrupted Augustus, 'whether, absorbed in your
own sensations, you allowed yourself to remember, and to respect, the
feelings of others?'
I could no longer restrain my tears, I wept for some moments in
silence--Augustus breathed a half-suppressed sigh, and turned from me
his face.
'The pangs which have rent my heart,' resumed I, in low and broken
accents, 'have, I confess, been but too poignant! That lacerated
heart still bleeds--we have neither of us been guiltless--_Alas!
who is?_ Yet in my bosom, severe feelings are not more painful than
transient--already have I lost sight of your unkindness, (God knows how
little I merited it!) in stronger sympathy for your sorrows--whatever
be their nature! We have both erred--why should we not exchange mutual
forgiveness? Why should we afflict each other? Friendship, like charity,
should suffer all things and be kind!'
'My mind,' replied he coldly, 'is differently constituted.'
'_Unpitying man!_ It would be hard for us, if we were all to be judged
at so severe a tribunal--you have been a _lover_,' added I, in a softer
tone, 'and can you not forgive the faults of _love_?'
He arose, visibly agitated--I also stood up--my bosom deeply wounded,
and, unknowing what I did, took his hand, and pressed it to my lips.
'You have rudely thrown from you a heart of exquisite sensibility--you
have contemned my love, and you disdain my friendship--is it brave, is
it manly,' added I wildly--almost unconscious of what I said--forgetting
at the moment his situation and my own--'thus to triumph over a spirit,
subdued by its affections into unresisting meekness?'
He broke from me, and precipitately quitted the room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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