Autobiographical fiction; Bildungsromans; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Love stories; Sex role -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
Mr Montague, at the request of Augustus, spent that day, and the next,
with us. I thought, I perceived, that he regarded Mr Harley with a
scrutinizing eye, and observed my respect for, and attention to, him,
with jealous apprehension. Before his departure, he requested half an
hour's conversation with me alone, with which request I immediately
complied, and withdrew with him into an adjoining compartment. He
informed me--
'That he was going to London to pursue his medical studies--that, on his
return, his father had proposed to establish him in his profession--that
his prospects were very favourable, and that he should esteem himself
completely happy if he might, yet, hope to soften my heart in his
favour, and to place me in a more assured and tranquil position.'
I breathed a heavy sigh, and sunk into a melancholy reverie.
'Speak to me, Emma,' said he, with impatience, 'and relieve the anxiety
I suffer.'
'Alas! What can I say?'
'Say, that you will try to love me, that you will reward my faith and
perseverance.'
'Would to God, I could'--I hesitated--my eyes filled with tears--'Go to
London,' resumed I; 'a thousand new objects will there quickly obliterate
from your remembrance a romantic and ill-fated attachment, to which
retirement, and the want of other impression, has given birth, and which
owes its strength merely to opposition.'
'As that opposition,' retorted he, 'is the offspring of pride and
insensibility--'
I looked at him with a mournful air--'Do not reproach me, Montague, my
situation is far more pitiable than yours. _I am, indeed, unhappy_,'
--added I, after a pause; 'I, like you, am the victim of a raised, of, I
fear, a distempered imagination.'
He eagerly entreated me to explain myself.
'I will not attempt to deceive you--I should accuse myself, were I to
preserve any sentiment, however delicate its nature, that might tend
to remove your present illusion. It is, I confess, with extreme
reluctance--with real pain'--I trembled--my voice faultered, and I felt
my colour vary--'that I constrain myself to acknowledge a hopeless, an
extravagant'--I stopped, unable to proceed.
Fire flashed from his eyes, he started from his seat, and took two or
three hasty strides across the room.
'I understand you, but too well--Augustus Harley shall dispute with me a
prize'--
'Stop, Sir, be not unjust--make not an ungenerous return to the
confidence I have reposed in you. Respect the violence which, on your
account, I have done to my own feelings. I own, that I have not been
able to defend my heart against the accomplishments and high qualities
of Mr Harley--I respected his virtues and attainments, and, by a too
easy transition--at length--_loved his person_. But my tenderness is a
secret to all the world but yourself--It has not met with'--a burning
blush suffused my cheek--'It has little hope of meeting, a return. To
your _honor_ I have confided this cherished _secret_--dare you betray my
confidence? I know, you dare not!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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