Autobiographical fiction; Bildungsromans; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Love stories; Sex role -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
What I have to apprehend? Can I distrust, for a
moment, those principles of rectitude, of honour, of goodness, which
gave birth to my affection? Have I not witnessed his humanity, have I
not experienced his delicacy, in a thousand instances? Though he should
be obliged to wound, he is incapable of insulting, the heart that loves
him; and that, loving him, believed, alas! for a long time, _that it
loved only virtue_!
The morning of our separation, at last, arrived. My friend, too much
indisposed to attend the breakfast table, took leave of her son in her
own apartment. I awaited him, in the library, with a beating heart, and,
on his departure, put into his hands a paper.--
'Read it not,' said I, in a low and almost inarticulate tone of voice,
'till arrived at the end of your journey; or, at least, till you are ten
miles from hence.'
He received it in silence; but it was a silence more expressive than
words.
'Suffer me,' it said, 'for a few moments, to solicit your
candour and attention. You are the only man in the world, to
whom I could venture to confide sentiments, that to many
would be inconceivable; and by those, who are unacquainted
with the human mind, and the variety of circumstances by
which characters are variously impressed and formed--who are
accustomed to consider mankind in masses--who have been used
to bend implicitly, to custom and prescription--the deviation
of a solitary individual from _rules_ sanctioned by usage, by
prejudice, by expediency, would be regarded as romantic. I
frankly avow, while my cheeks glow with the blushes of
_modesty_, not of shame, that your virtues and accomplishments
have excited in my bosom an affection, as pure as the motives
which gave it birth, and as animated as it is pure.--This
ingenuous avowal may perhaps affect, but will scarcely (I
suspect) surprise, you; for, incapable of dissimulation,
the emotions of my mind are ever but too apparent in my
expressions, and in my conduct, to deceive a less penetrating
eye than yours--neither have I been solicitous to disguise
them.
'It has been observed, that,' "the strength of an affection
is generally in the same proportion, as the character of the
species, in the object beloved, is lost in that of the
individual,"[5] and, that individuality of character is the
only fastener of the affections. It is certain, however
singular it may appear, that many months before we became
personally acquainted, the report of your worth and high
qualities had generated in my mind, an esteem and reverence,
which has gradually ripened into a tenderness, that has, at
length, mixed itself with all my associations, and is become
interwoven with every fibre of my heart.
[Footnote 5: Wolstonecraft's Rights of Woman.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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