Autobiographical fiction; Bildungsromans; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Love stories; Sex role -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
though generous struggles, of an ardent spirit, denied a
scope for its exertions! The strong feelings, and strong
energies, which properly directed, in a field sufficiently
wide, might--ah! what might they not have aided? forced
back, and pent up, ravage and destroy the mind which gave
them birth!
'Yes, I confess, _I am unhappy_, unhappy in proportion as I
believe myself (it may be, erringly) improved. Philosophy,
it is said, should regulate the feelings, but it has added
fervor to mine! What are passions, but another name for
powers? The mind capable of receiving the most forcible
impressions is the sublimely improveable mind! Yet, into
whatever trains such minds are accidentally directed, they
are prone to enthusiasm, while the vulgar stupidly wonder at
the effects of powers, to them wholly inconceivable: the
weak and the timid, easily discouraged, are induced, by the
first failure, to relinquish their pursuits. "They make the
impossibility they fear!" But the bold and the persevering,
from repeated disappointment, derive only new ardor and
activity. "They conquer difficulties, by daring to attempt
them."
'I feel, that I am writing in a desultory manner, that I am
unable to crowd my ideas into the compass of a letter, and,
that could I do so, I should perhaps only weary you. There
are but few persons to whom I would venture to complain, few
would understand, and still fewer sympathise with me. You
are in health, they would say, in the spring of life, have
every thing supplied you without labour (so much the worse)
nature, reason, open to you their treasures! All this is,
partly, true--but, with inexpressible yearnings, my soul
pants for something more, something higher! The morning
rises upon me with sadness, and the evening closes with
disgust--Imperfection, uncertainty, is impressed on every
object, on every pursuit! I am either restless or torpid, I
seek to-day, what to-morrow, wearies and offends me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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