Memoirs of Miss Sidney Biddulph: Extracted from her own Journal, and now first publishedSheridan, Frances Chamberlaine
General
Memoirs of Miss Sidney Biddulph: Extracted from her own Journal, and now first published
Sheridan, Frances Chamberlaine
English fiction -- 18th century
She had endeavoured, she said, to compose herself for this interview,
and had tried to assume something of dignity; but it all vanished when
her conqueror approached, and the tumult of her heart so intirely
banished all recollection, and presence of mind, that she was not able
to tell me in what manner she received him. She only knows, she says,
that having snatched up her little boy, who stood by her and hung on her
gown, she put him into his father's arms, and bidding the babe thank him
for his goodness, she burst into tears. Mr Faulkland tenderly embraced
the child, not without a visible emotion of countenance; and having
gently set him down again, he placed himself by Miss Burchell's side:
She was still sobbing. Those generous tears, Madam, said he, taking her
by the hand, reproach me too much: I have not deserved this tenderness;
I cannot look upon you, nor that dear boy, without blushing, but you
have forgiven me: it shall be the study of my life to make you both
happy. Oh! Madam, continued Miss Burchell, what an exquisite joy must
such a declaration give me from the beloved of my soul. I wrung his
hand; Oh, Sir, you are too good: What return can I make you? One thing
only say to me, that you do not offer me a _very_ reluctant hand, and I
shall then be the happiest of women.
Mr Faulkland paused a little while, and then, with a noble frankness,
replied: 'You know, my dear Miss Burchell, with what an excess of
passion I have ever loved Mrs Arnold: Had no such woman existed, _you_
would have been my choice, preferably to any other: but when I first
knew you, I looked upon myself as bound to her, though, at that time, I
had never seen her: my knowledge of her afterwards confirmed me her's. I
made no secret of this to you, and you may remember what my declarations
to you were, even at the time my hopes were frustrated. I have loved her
fervently ever since; even in the arms of a husband I adored her; and I
will be candid enough to own to you, that, as my attachment to her has,
during all that time, estranged me from you, so should I still, had I
the least hopes of succeeding, have persisted in my suit. But she has
cut off all hope; she has declared she can never be mine, and at the
same time has represented my obligations to you in so strong a light,
that I am convinced I ought to be your's. And let me own, Madam (you who
are generous, and know what it is to love, will pardon a declaration
which I durst not make to any other woman) to you I will confess that
Mrs Arnold is arbitress of my fate; and in approving myself to her, I do
so to my own conscience. I do not therefore, though my actions have been
guided by her, yield with reluctance to her will; her virtue, her
religion, and enlarged mind, have only dictated to me, what my own
reason tells me I ought to do. I have been a slave to a hopeless passion
too long; I am now resolved to struggle with my chains: you, Madam, must
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