Memorials and Other Papers — Volume 1De Quincey, Thomas
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Memorials and Other Papers — Volume 1
De Quincey, Thomas
English essays
Professor Wilson's period at Oxford exactly coincided with my own; yet,
in that large world, we never met. I know, therefore, but little of his
policy in regard to such opinions or feelings as tended to dissociate
him from the mass of his coevals. This only I know, that he lived as it
were in public; and must, therefore, I presume, have practised a
studied reserve as to his deepest admirations; and, perhaps, at that day
(1803-8) the occasions would be rare in which much dissimulation would
be needed. Until Lord Byron had begun to pilfer from Wordsworth and to
abuse him, allusions to Wordsworth were not frequent in conversation;
and it was chiefly on occasion of some question arising about poetry
in general, or about the poets of the day, that it became difficult to
dissemble. For my part, hating the necessity for dissimulation as much
as the dissimulation itself, I drew from this peculiarity also of my own
mind a fresh reinforcement of my other motives for sequestering myself;
and, for the first two years of my residence in Oxford, I compute that I
did not utter one hundred words.
I remember distinctly the first (which happened also to be the last)
conversation that I ever held with my tutor. It consisted of three
sentences, two of which fell to his share, one to mine. On a fine
morning, he met me in the Quadrangle, and, having then no guess of
the nature of my pretensions, he determined (I suppose) to probe them.
Accordingly, he asked me, "What I had been lately reading?" Now, the
fact was, that I, at that time immersed in metaphysics, had really been
reading and studying very closely the _Parmenides_, of which obscure
work some Oxford men, early in the last century, published a separate
edition. Yet, so profound was the benignity of my nature, that, in those
days, I could not bear to witness, far less to cause, the least pain or
mortification to any human being. I recoiled, indeed, from the society
of most men, but not with any feelings of dislike. On the contrary, in
order that I _might_ like all men, I wished to associate with none. Now,
then, to have mentioned the _Parmenides_ to one who, fifty thousand to
one, was a perfect stranger to its whole drift and purpose, looked too
_méchant_, too like a trick of malice, in an age when such reading was
so very unusual. I felt that it would be taken for an express stratagem
for stopping my tutor's mouth. All this passing rapidly through my mind,
I replied, without hesitation, that I had been reading Paley. My tutor's
rejoinder I have never forgotten: "Ah! an excellent author; excellent
for his matter; only you must be on your guard as to his style; he is
very vicious _there_." Such was the colloquy; we bowed, parted, and
never more (I apprehend) exchanged one word. Now, trivial and trite as
this comment on Paley may appear to the reader, it struck me forcibly
that more falsehood, or more absolute falsehood, or more direct
inversion of the truth, could not, by any artifice of ingenuity, have
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