Memorials and Other Papers — Volume 1De Quincey, Thomas
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Memorials and Other Papers — Volume 1
De Quincey, Thomas
English essays
The mummy, therefore, was not seen; but the skeleton was. Who was he? It
is not every day that one makes the acquaintance of a skeleton; and with
regard to such a thing--thing, shall one say, or person?--there is a
favorable presumption from beforehand; which is this: As he is of
no use, neither profitable nor ornamental to any person whatever,
absolutely _de trop_ in good society, what but distinguished merit
of some kind or other could induce any man to interfere with that
gravitating tendency that by an eternal _nisus_ is pulling him below
ground? Lodgings are dear in England. True it is that, according to the
vile usage on the continent, one room serves a skeleton for bed-room and
sitting-room; neither is his expense heavy, as regards wax-lights, fire,
or "bif-steck." But still, even a skeleton is chargeable; and, if any
dispute should arise about his maintenance, the parish will do
nothing. Mr. White's skeleton, therefore, being costly, was presumably
meritorious, before we had seen him or heard a word in his behalf.
It was, in fact, the skeleton of an eminent robber, or perhaps of a
murderer. But I, for my part, reserved a faint right of suspense. And
as to the profession of robber in those days exercised on the roads
of England, it was a liberal profession, which required more
accomplishments than either the bar or the pulpit: from the beginning it
presumed a most bountiful endowment of heroic qualifications--strength,
health, agility, and exquisite horsemanship, intrepidity of the first
order, presence of mind, courtesy, and a general ambidexterity of
powers for facing all accidents, and for turning to a good account
all unlooked-for contingencies. The finest men in England, physically
speaking, throughout the eighteenth century, the very noblest specimens
of man considered as an animal, were beyond a doubt the mounted robbers
who cultivated their profession on the great leading roads, namely,
on the road from London to York (technically known as "the great north
road"); on the road west to Bath, and thence to Exeter and Plymouth;
north-westwards from London to Oxford, and thence to Chester; eastwards
to Tunbridge; southwards by east to Dover; then inclining westwards to
Portsmouth; more so still, through Salisbury to Dorsetshire and Wilts.
These great roads were farmed out as so many Roman provinces amongst
pro-consuls. Yes, but with a difference, you will say, in respect
of moral principles. Certainly with a difference; for the English
highwayman had a sort of conscience for gala-days, which could not often
be said of the Roman governor or procurator. At this moment we see that
the opening for the forger of bank-notes is brilliant; but practically
it languishes, as being too brilliant; it demands an array of talent for
engraving, etc., which, wherever it exists, is sufficient to carry a man
forward upon principles reputed honorable. Why, then, should _he_ court
danger and disreputability? But in that century the special talents
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