Memorials and Other Papers — Volume 1De Quincey, Thomas
General
Memorials and Other Papers — Volume 1
De Quincey, Thomas
English essays
It was in winter, and in the wintry weather of the year 1803, that I
first entered Oxford with a view to its vast means of education, or
rather with a view to its vast advantages for study. A ludicrous story
is told of a young candidate for clerical orders--that, being asked by
the bishop's chaplain if he had ever "been to Oxford," as a colloquial
expression for having had an academic education, he replied, "No: but he
had twice been to Abingdon:" Abingdon being only seven miles distant.
In the same sense I might say that once before I had been at Oxford:
but _that_ was as a transient visitor with Lord W----, when we were both
children. Now, on the contrary, I approached these venerable towers in
the character of a student, and with the purpose of a long connection;
personally interested in the constitution of the university, and
obscurely anticipating that in this city, or at least during the period
of my nominal attachment to this academic body, the remoter parts of
my future life would unfold before me. All hearts were at this time
occupied with the public interests of the country. The "sorrow of the
time" was ripening to a second harvest. Napoleon had commenced his
Vandal, or rather Hunnish War with Britain, in the spring of this year,
about eight months before; and profound public interest it was, into
which the very coldest hearts entered, that a little divided with me
the else monopolizing awe attached to the solemn act of launching myself
upon the world. That expression may seem too strong as applied to one
who had already been for many months a houseless wanderer in Wales, and
a solitary roamer in the streets of London. But in those situations,
it must be remembered, I was an unknown, unacknowledged vagrant; and
without money I could hardly run much risk, except of breaking my neck.
The perils, the pains, the pleasures, or the obligations, of the world,
scarcely exist in a proper sense for him who has no funds. Perfect
weakness is often secure; it is by imperfect power, turned against its
master, that men are snared and decoyed. Here in Oxford I should be
called upon to commence a sort of establishment upon the splendid
English scale; here I should share in many duties and responsibilities,
and should become henceforth an object of notice to a large society. Now
first becoming separately and individually answerable for my conduct,
and no longer absorbed into the general unit of a family, I felt myself,
for the first time, burthened with the anxieties of a man, and a member
of the world.
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