Memories of My Life: Being My Personal, Professional, and Social Recollections as Woman and ArtistBernhardt, Sarah
General
Memories of My Life: Being My Personal, Professional, and Social Recollections as Woman and Artist
Bernhardt, Sarah
Actors -- Biography; Bernhardt, Sarah, 1844-1923; Women -- Biography
“Well, then, what will you recite, mademoiselle?” asked Leautaud, with
the most _outré_ accent possible.
“I will recite a fable,” I replied.
He burst out laughing as he wrote down my name and the title, “Deux
Pigeons,” which I gave him. I heard him still laughing under his heavy
mustache as he continued his round. He then went back into the
_Conservatoire_, and I began to get feverish with excitement, so that
Mme. Guérard was anxious about me, as my health, unfortunately, was very
delicate. She made me sit down, and then she put a few drops of _eau de
Cologne_ behind my ears.
“There, that will teach you to wink like that!” were the words I
suddenly heard, and a girl with the prettiest face imaginable had her
ears boxed soundly. Nathalie Mauvoy’s mother was correcting her
daughter. I sprang up, trembling with fright and indignation, and was as
angry as a young turkey cock. I wanted to go and box the horrible
woman’s ears in return, and then to kiss the pretty girl who had been
insulted in this way, but I was held back firmly by my two guardians.
Dica Petit now returned, and this caused a diversion in the waiting
room. She was radiant and quite satisfied with herself. Oh, very well
satisfied, indeed! Her father held out a little flask to her in which
was some kind of cordial, and I should have liked some of it, too, for
my mouth was dry and burning. Her mother then put a little woolen square
over her chest before fastening her coat for her, and then all three of
them went away. Several other girls and young men were called before my
turn came.
Finally, the call of my name made me jump as a sardine does when pursued
by a big fish. I tossed my head to shake my hair back, and my _petite
dame_ stroked my “badly dressed” silk. Mlle. De Brabender reminded me
about the O and the A, the R, the P, and the T, and I then went alone
into the hall. I had never been alone an hour in my life. As a little
child I was always clinging to the skirts of my nurse; at the convent I
was always with one of my friends or one of the Sisters; at home either
with Mlle. De Brabender or Mme. Guérard, or if they were not there, in
the kitchen with Marguerite. And now, there I was alone in that
strange-looking room, with a platform at the end, a large table in the
middle, and, seated round this table, men who either grumbled, growled,
or jeered. There was only one woman present, and she had a loud voice.
She was holding an eyeglass, and, as I entered, she dropped it and
looked at me through her opera glass. I felt everyone’s gaze on my back
as I climbed up the few steps to the platform. Leautaud bent forward and
whispered:
“Make your bow and commence, and then stop when the chairman rings.”
I looked at the chairman, and saw that it was M. Auber. I had forgotten
that he was Director of the _Conservatoire_, just as I had forgotten
everything else. I at once made my bow, and began:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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