Memories of My Life: Being My Personal, Professional, and Social Recollections as Woman and ArtistBernhardt, Sarah
General
Memories of My Life: Being My Personal, Professional, and Social Recollections as Woman and Artist
Bernhardt, Sarah
Actors -- Biography; Bernhardt, Sarah, 1844-1923; Women -- Biography
At one o’clock precisely I was shown into the manager’s office. M.
Thierry, his nose more congested than ever, and his eyes more crafty,
preached me a deadly sermon, blamed my want of discipline, absence of
respect, and scandalous conduct, and finished his pitiful harangue by
advising me to beg Mme. Nathalie’s pardon.
“I have asked her to come,” he added, “and you must apologize to her
before three _Sociétaires_ belonging to the Committee. Is she consents
to forgive you the Committee will then consider whether to fine you or
to cancel your engagement.”
I did not reply for a few minutes. I thought of my mother in distress,
my godfather laughing in his bourgeois way, and my Aunt Faure
triumphant, with her usual phrase: “That child is terrible!” I thought,
too, of my beloved Brabender with her hands clasped, her mustache
drooping sadly, her small eyes full of tears, so touching in their mute
supplication. I could hear my gentle, timid Mme. Guérard arguing with
everyone, so courageous she was always in her confidence in my future.
“Well, mademoiselle?” said M. Thierry curtly.
I looked at him without speaking and he began to get impatient.
“I will go and ask Mme. Nathalie to come here,” he said, “and I beg you
will do your part as quickly as possible, for I have other things to
attend to than to put your blunders right.”
“Oh, no, do not fetch Mme. Nathalie,” I said at last, “I shall not
apologize to her. I will leave. I will cancel my engagement at once.”
He was stupefied, and his arrogance melted away in pity for the
ungovernable, willful child who was about to ruin her whole future for
the sake of a question of self-esteem. He was at once gentler and more
polite. He asked me to sit down, which he had not hitherto done, and he
sat down himself opposite to me and spoke to me gently about the
advantages of the Comédie, and of the danger that there would be for me
in leaving that illustrious theater which had done me the honor of
admitting me. He gave me a hundred other very good, wise reasons which
softened me. When he saw the effect he had made, he wanted to send for
Mme. Nathalie, but I roused up then like a little wild animal.
“Oh, don’t let her come here, I should slap her again!” I exclaimed.
“Well, then, I must ask your mother to come,” he said.
“My mother would never come,” I replied.
“Then I will go and call on her.”
“It will be quite useless,” I persisted, “my mother has given me my
liberty, and I am quite free to lead my own life. I alone am responsible
for all that I do.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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