Mr. Alfred Bolt, minus coat, collar, tie and shoes, was seated in an
arm chair, his feet reposing upon the mantel-piece. At his elbow was a
glass of whiskey and water with a slice of lemon floating on the
surface. His waistcoat was undone and the white of his shirt
emphasised the enormous girth of his corporation. His legs were short,
his hands fat, his face round and margined with a half circle of hair
beneath the chin. At the first glance you would have taken him for the
model from which Will Owen must have illustrated the stories of W. W.
Jacobs. One would have expected him to remind the passer-by that it
was "a nice day for a sail" or alternatively to demand "Any more for
the Skylark?" But a closer inspection would have shaken the foundation
of so simple a belief for Mr. Alfred Bolt's eyes were not of the honest
kind worn by men who go down to the sea in ships. They were close set,
narrow lidded, cunning, piggy little eyes that caused unrest to look
upon.
At the sight of Harrison Smith he removed his feet from the mantelpiece
and extended an open armed welcome.
"Welcome and thrice welcome, my dear brother," he intoned in an
admirable imitation of the accepted ecclesiastical method. "I rejoice
indeed to observe that you are now in Holy Orders." Then with a drop
into the vernacular. "Blind me, Smith, what the hell are you doing
with your collar back to front?"
Harrison Smith gave a hurried explanation.
"But I thought that job was cleared up," said Bolt.
"Maybe it is, but there's a chance of a big coup that no one expected.
Now, if you care to take a hand."
Mr. Bolt fancied himself as a mimic, indeed he harboured the opinion
that he was a peer even to the late Sir Henry Irving in the matter of
"take offs." He could imitate a cat or a Chinaman, while his thumb
nail impressions of sundry Hebraic neighbours were only rivalled by his
flawless caricatures of natives of Germany or the New Hebrides. But
best of all he loved to assume the inflexion, guise and bearing of a
member of the clergy--a circumstance very possibly explained by the
fact that his own private life was as far removed from the office of
virtue as could be imagined.
"Be unafraid, my son," quoth he. "If your heart is full speak into my
listening ear and may a blessing fall on your confession." Then
fashioning a trumpet with his two hands he bellowed like a fog horn:
"Becky! A drop of whiskey hot for the gent." And while the
refreshment was being procured he observed parenthetically: "A nice
little piece, ain't she? Very smart and dossy. Come on, Smith, my
boy--my jolly old beau--dear old cracker, soak up the juice of the
barley and expound the tale of woe."
Harrison Smith wasted no time in explaining the case while Bolt
listened with great concentration, nodding approval at this point or
that.
"Hm! Worth trying anyway," he agreed. "What do you want me to do?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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