Mercia, the astronomer royal: A romanceMears, A. Garland
Science
Mercia, the astronomer royal: A romance
Mears, A. Garland
Science fiction; Utopian fiction
Having gone thus far she began to feel more settled in her mind,
satisfied insomuch that she felt she had done the right thing in
resigning a position which exposed her to the importunities of a patron
who had proved as unprincipled in purpose as he was sensual in
inclinations. Then she began to torment herself with the reflection that
she had not proved such an icewoman as she had previously imagined
herself to be. ‘Yes,’ she owned to herself, ‘there was a moment when the
power of his passion moved me, and I could have yielded to the seduction
of the senses, pictured by him as the essence of love, until I
remembered there was a barrier that might not be moved; no, not for the
allurements of a century of deliciousness would I defraud another of one
iota of the affection which was sworn for all time to be hers.
‘I have refused, perhaps, the crown of an Empress to take the lowly
condition of a poor scholar out of place; but I have remained true to
myself, and to my sex, and before all things have kept my heart and
hands clean: I have earned the approval of my conscience, and my
night-pillow is not made restless with the self-torture of knowing I had
inflicted an endless misery on another, and that other made like unto
myself; with all the capacities of suffering, having to drink daily of
life’s bitterest mortifications.
‘But what a deadly traitor I have narrowly escaped—what a contemptible
monster he has proved himself, to thus turn on me like an adder!’
His threat of having her indicted for high treason gave her, however, no
uneasiness, for it only inspired her with the utmost scorn. She
dismissed it from her mind as having been on his part merely the outcome
of ungovernable anger at being exposed before his enemy, as Sadbag
undauntedly owned himself to be. How a man could express the most
profound attachment for her at one moment, and seek her destruction at
the next, seemed to her pure mind so monstrous and wholly unnatural that
its possibility in her case was altogether out of the question.
That Felicitas would actually go the lengths of formally making such an
infamous accusation she could not bring herself to believe. Thus she sat
deeply pondering over the situation for at least two hours, unheeding
the passage of time in which startling doings were taking place in the
outside world, when she was interrupted by a double announcement,
dinner, and the advent of Sadbag.
‘In a brown study, I see!’ exclaimed the old man as he entered the
apartment, ‘can I be of any use to thee?’
‘Thrice welcome,’ she answered quickly; ‘this solitude is unbearable: I
was longing for some sympathising friend in whose ears I could pour
forth my trouble.’
‘Thou art in a queer quandary, certainly,’ quoth Sadbag in gentle tones,
which were not wanting in sly humour, ‘nevertheless, there will be
somebody in a bigger by to-morrow morning.’
‘To whom dost thou refer?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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