"I have no further work," said Christian Lillie, in her old composure of
melancholy, "no further watching--no one now to care and labor for. You
do not know my life; when I was a girl, in the days when others are gay
and light of heart, beloved, and served, and cared for, I was fighting
with a household shame and sin--a miserable, sensual, earthly sin, in
the one man to whom I should have looked up for support and guidance:
striving to hide it--to keep it from the knowledge of the bairns--the
two that were depending more upon me, their sister, than upon him their
father; striving, too, with weary cares of poverty, to keep them from
want--real want and not mere meagreness. From that a death relieved
me--and then, with only eighteen years over my head, I was left the
mother of these two; to protect, and defend, and bring them up, the only
near kindred they had in the world. Since then my hands have been
full--there has been no lack of vigils or labors in this past life of
mine. Now it is over; I have carried Patrick safely to his grave, and
seen him laid down there in sorrow and in hope; and now Marion will come
again to a bright household in joy and honor. Do you marvel that I think
my work over?--the need of me in this world past."
"I do not marvel," said Anne, "but I wish that it should be otherwise,
Christian. I would not have your sky overcast with this dull calm; I
would have it free to receive God's sunshine; the light he sends upon
it, in the evening time."
"God forbid," said Christian Lillie rising, and pressing her hands
painfully to her breast, "God forbid that I should hide my head, from
His mercy of joy; God forbid that I should shut my eyes to His sunshine,
or sin His mercies; only I am blinded with this cold calm, and my heart
is dead within me. When I am in my own house, bring the child to
me--Marion's bairn, that he called by our unhappy name; and come
yourself, my sister Anne, that I may begin to live again. Till then, in
my own fashion let me rest."
And so they arranged. At the term of Martinmas, or sooner, if John
Tamson's house, the newly-acquired property of George Brock, should be
sooner completed--whenever Christian had regained possession of the old
home cottage, Anne was to visit her with Lilie. At present, all was done
for her that affectionate care could do, and on the next day Anne left
Aberford.
When in the evening she entered Mrs. Catherine's Edinburgh drawing-room,
in its stately pride of olden furniture, gracefully not stiffly antique,
she found James Aytoun and his mother waiting to meet her. Mrs. Aytoun
gave her a tremulous welcome, which was half an embrace, and would have
been wholly one, had Mrs. Aytoun been at all a demonstrative person.
James shook hands with her with respectful kindness and friendship. The
good opinion of such a mother and son was worth having. Anne felt
enlivened and exhilarated.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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