on this earth. My son Norman is innocent of this blood--clear him
of the blot upon his name--bring him back to die peacefully in his
own land, and the blessing of the God who binds up the
broken-hearted, be about you all, for evermore.
LAWRENCE ROSS."
Anne laid down the letter, her eyes full of grateful tears, almost
joyful in their tremulous solemnity. There was sorrow, and labor, and
darkness in the way--there was not crime. The blessed belief came into
her soul in solemn sunshine--the cloud rolled off her head. A strange
invigoration was in every vein. Norman was _alive!_ alive to receive the
triumphant acquittal of justice--alive to be saved! She opened his
letter, her tears falling thick upon it: other drops had fallen there
before--the tears of the old man's agony. She read it.
"Before you see this, they will have told you that I am a murderer.
It is not so, father: believe a despairing man, it is not so.
Arthur Aytoun has done me wrong: but I would not have put a hair of
his head in peril. I would have guarded him with my own life.
Wherever he is, be it in joy or misery, he bears me witness, before
God, that I am innocent of his blood. Father my heart is like to
burst. What can I say to you--my hand is clean. I am innocent!--I
am innocent! there is no blood upon my soul. And yet I dare not
venture to trust myself to a trial, with every circumstance against
me. I have nothing for it but flight. To-night I go further away--I
know not where--under cover of the darkness, like a felon and a
criminal, as men will call me. It gnaws at my very heart. I would
rather have died a thousand times--a cold-blooded, cowardly
murderer! Father, father! you will not believe it of your son!
"They would find me guilty if I remained--they could not fail to
find me guilty--and the disgrace of a fugitive will be less upon
our house and name than the disgrace of a convicted murderer, dying
a shameful death. It is like a coward to fly. I am a coward. I do
not dare to meet that fatal judgment. I could not bear to hear
myself called guilty, with my innocence strong in my heart. I have
a suspicion, too--a terrible fear and suspicion--and I must fly.
Father, I can say no more, even to you. I am a sinful man before
God; but my hand is as pure of blood, as when I stood beside you on
Oranside, before death had ever entered Merkland. They know in
Heaven--if they can see my unhappy fortunes--my mother, Lawrence,
Edward--they know that I am innocent. I do not know what I say. My
thoughts are wandering like a sick man's. Father, I am innocent!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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