The rival tea-kettle poured out part of its contents in the person of a long, lean man, with all his limbs rambling; no way reduceable to compass, unless you doubled him up like a pocket-rule. His wardrobe was illustrative of Jew frippery and Rag-Fair tawdry. He was tricked out in the relics of a ci-devant shirt; his coat was a patchwork quilt, his waistcoat and pantaloons were the sign of the chequers, an escutcheon quartering all the colours of the rainbow. “In his hand A box he bore, wherein the pungent dust Of Dutch rapee, in gaudy state reclin'd. Oft would he ope the lid, and oft immerge His fingers,” for the purpose of exciting an agreeable titillation in a very sharp nose, that blushed like a corn-poppy. “A glass of cold water, warm without sugar, Lady Teazle? or a strip of white satin and bitters, my Belvidera? A pint of half-and-half in the pewter, my Calista? or a tumbler of cold without, Mrs. Longbow?” “D'ye think, Mr. Bigstick, I'm a rhinoscheros, a river-oss, or a crocodile? Order me a pot of hot coffee and buttered toast; and mind, Mr. Bigstick, let it be buttered on _both_ sides.” This dialogue was carried on between the long lean man and an invisible sharp-voiced personage in the tea-kettle. “Coffee and toast for the tea-kettle,” shouted the waiter. “How many?” demanded mine host. “Four. Lady Teaser, Belvideary, Miss Cannister, and Mrs. Longbow.” “_Mort de ma vie!_” ejaculated the long lean man. “For one!--In the Tumbletuzzy all these characters are combined. And, _garçon_, bring me a basin of tea and a--biscuit.” The frugal refection was laid before the lean man. “Cat-lap base!” he muttered, swallowing the scalding hot bohea, that was strongly impregnated with Sir Hugh Middleton, and champing the dry biscuit. “Another round of toast for Lady Teaser!” “Buttered on _both_ sides,” growled the lean man, sarcastically; and he began to number with his skinny fingers, as if counting the cost. Uncle Timothy was the last person in the world to flout a threadbare coat, because it is threadbare, or take a man for a sharper because he happens to be sharp-witted or sharp-set. Your full-fed fool he thought quite as likely to have nefarious designs on his purse, as the hungry humorist who at once lets you into the secret of his starvation. If he be deserving as well as poor, it was gratifying to Uncle Tim that he had made honest poverty forget its privations for a season; and should he prove a shirking idler on the _pavé_--, he had not been taken in at any vast expense. Reflections like these crossed his mind--and he left the room. On his return, he found the lean man still counting with his fingers. Presently the waiter spread the table with a snow-white cloth; the clattering of knives and forks, plates and spoons, roused the lean man from his reverie; he gazed wistfully at the preparations, and looked thrice famished.