In those primitive times (when the play was ended) actors and audiences were wont to pass jokes--“Theames,” as they were called--upon each other; and Tarlton, whose flat nose and shrewish wife made him a general butt, was always too many for his antagonist. If driven into a corner, he, as Dr. Johnson said of Foote, took a jump, and was over your head in an instant. In 1611 was published in 4to. “_Tarlton's Jests, drawn into Three Parts: his court-witty Jests; his sound-city Jest's; his country-pretty Jests; full of delight, wit, and honest mirth_.” This volume is of extraordinary rarity. In the title-page is a woodcut of the droll in his clown's dress, playing on his pipe with one hand, and beating his drum with the other. In _Tarlton's News out of Purgatory_, the ancient dress appropriated to that character is thus described. I saw one attired in russet, with a buttoned cap on his head, a bag by his side, and a strong bat in his hand; so artificially attired for a clowne, as I began to call Tarlton's woonted shape to remembrance; and in Kind-Hart's Dreame (1592), “The next, by his suit of russet, his buttoned cap, his taber, his standing on the toe, and other tricks, I knew to be either the body or resemblance of Tarlton, who living, for his pleasant conceits, was of all men liked, and dying, for mirth left not his like.” This print * is characteristic and spirited, and bears the strongest marks of personal identity. When some country wag threw up his “Theame,” after the following fashion:-- “Tarlton, I am one of thy friends, and none of thy foes, Then I prethee tell me how cam'st by thy flat nose: Had I beene present at that time on those banks, I would have laid my short sword over his long shankes.” The _undumpisher_ of Queen Elizabeth made this tart reply:-- “Friend or foe, if thou wilt needs know, marke me well, With parting dogs and bears, then by the ears, this chance fell: But what of that? though my nose be flat, my credit for to save, Yet very well I can, by the smell, scent an honest man from a knave.” * Of the original we speak, which Caulfield sold to Mr. Townley for ten guineas! This identical print, with the Jests, now lies before us. Caulfield's copy is utterly worthless. Once while he was performing at the Bull in Bishopsgate-street, where the queen's servants often played, a fellow in the gallery, whom he had galled by a sharp retort, threw an apple, * which hit him on the cheek: Tarlton, taking the apple, and advancing to the front of the stage, made this jest:-- “Gentlemen, this fellow, with his face of mapple, ** Instead of a pippin, hath throwne me an apple; But, as for an apple he hath cast me a crab, So, instead of an honest woman, God hath sent him a drab.”