This morning as I finished the above lines I suffered a mild stroke ...
a particularly unusual one since I did not become, as far as I know,
unconscious. I was rereading my somewhat telescoped account of the
Council of Dallas when, without warning, the blow fell; a capillary
burst in my brain and I felt as though I were losing my mind in one
last fantastic burst of images. The pain was negligible, no worse than
a headache, but the sensation of letting go one’s conscious mind, one’s
control was terrifying. I tried to move from my work-table, to call for
help, but I was too weak. For one long giddy moment I thought: I am
dying; this is the way it is and, even in my anguish, I was curious,
waiting for that approach of winged darkness which years ago I once
experienced when I fainted and which I have always since imagined to be
like death’s swift entrance.
But then my body recovered from the assault: the wall was breached, the
enemy is in the city but the citadel is still intact and yet I live.
Weakly I got up, poured myself a jigger of brandy and then, having
drunk it all at once, fell across my bed and slept and did not dream,
which is a rare blessing in these feverish last days.
I was awakened by the sensation of being watched. I opened my eyes and
saw above me, looking like a bronze figure of Anubis, Jessup who said,
“I’m sorry ... didn’t mean to disturb you. Your door was open and I....”
“Perfectly all right,” I said, as smoothly as I could, drugged with
sleep. I pulled myself up against the pillows. “Excuse me for not
getting up but I’m still a little weak from my illness.”
“I wanted to see you,” said Jessup, sitting down in the chair which I
indicated beside the bed. “I hope you don’t mind my barging in like
this.”
“Not at all. How do you find Luxor?” I wanted to delay as long as
possible the questions which I was quite sure he would want to ask me,
questions concerning my identity.
“The people are not so fixed in error as we’d been warned. There’s
a great curiosity about Cavesword.” His eyes had been taking in the
details of the room with some interest; to my horror I recalled that I
had left the manuscript of my work on the table instead of hiding it as
usual in the washstand. He saw it. “Your ... memoirs?” He looked at me
with a polite interest which I was sure disguised foreknowledge.
“A record of my excavations,” I said, in a voice which descended the
scale to a whisper. “I do it for my own amusement, to pass the time.”
“I should enjoy reading it.”
“You exaggerate, in your kindness,” I said, pushing myself higher on
the bed, preparing if necessary for a sudden spring.
“Not at all. If it is about Egypt, I should read it. There are no
contemporary accounts of this country ... by one of us.”
“I’m afraid the details of findings in the valley yonder,” I gestured
toward Libya and the last acres of the kings, “won’t be of much use to
you. I avoid all mention of people less than two millennia dead.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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