It was midnight and no light was burning. Only through the window there
fell the radiance of the city, lying like a pale gleam upon the face of
the girl who sat, leaning back against the wall, without moving, with
closed eye-lids, her hands in her lap.
“Will you never answer me?” asked the great inventor.
Stillness. Silence. Immobility.
“You are colder than stone, harder than any stone. The tip of your
finger must cut through the diamond as though it were water.... I do
not implore your love. What does a girl know of love? Her unstormed
fortresses—her unopened Paradises—her sealed-up books, whom no one
knows but the god who wrote them—what do you know of love? Women
know nothing of love either. What does light know of light? Flame of
burning? What do the stars know of the laws by which they wander?
You must ask chaos—coldness, darkness, the eternal unredeemed which
wrestles for the redemption of itself. You must ask the man what love
is. The hymn of Heaven is only composed in Hell.... I do not implore
your love, Maria. But your pity, you motherly one, with the virgin
face....”
Stillness. Silence. Immobility.
“I hold you captive.... Is that my fault? I do not hold you captive for
myself, Maria. Above you and me there is a Will which forces me into
being evil. Have pity on him who must be evil, Maria! All the springs
of good within me are choked up. I thought them to be dead; but they
are only buried alive. My being is a rock of darkness. But deep within
the sad stone I hear the springs rushing.... If I defy the Will which
is above you and me.... If I destroy the work I created after your
image.... It would only be what Joh Fredersen deserves and it would be
better for me!... He has ruined me, Maria—he has ruined me! He stole
the woman from me, who was mine, and whom I loved. I do not know if her
soul was ever with me. But her pity was with me and made me good. Joh
Fredersen took the woman from me. He made me evil. He, who grudged the
stone the imprint of her shoe, made me evil to take her pity from me.
Hel is dead. But she loved him. What a fearful law it is by which the
beings of Light turn themselves to those of Darkness, but pass by those
in the shade. Be more merciful than Hel was, Maria! I will defy the
Will which is above you and me. I will open the doors for you. You will
be able to go where you list and nobody shall stop you. But would you
remain with me of your own free will, Maria? I long to be good ... will
you help me?”
Stillness. Silence. Immobility.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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