Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Historical fiction
Michael interrupted her.
“Oh, I don’t understand him,” he said. “At least, that’s the best way to
look at it. Let’s leave him out.”
He paused a moment.
“After all, it is a much better plan than our living all three of us at
Ashbridge. It’s better for my mother, and for me, and for him.”
“I know, but how he could consent to the better plan,” she said. “Well,
let us leave him out. Poor Robert! He and his golf. My dear, your father
is a very ludicrous person, you know. But about you, Michael, do you
think you can stand it?”
He smiled at her.
“Why, of course I can,” he said. “Indeed, I don’t think I’ll accept that
statement of it. It’s--it’s such a score to be able to be of use, you
know. I can make my mother happy. Nobody else can. I think I’m getting
rather conceited about it.”
“Yes, dear; I find you insufferable,” remarked Aunt Barbara
parenthetically.
“Then you must just bear it. The thing is”--Michael took a moment to
find the words he searched for--“the thing is I want to be wanted. Well,
it’s no light thing to be wanted by your mother, even if--”
He sat down on the sofa by his aunt.
“Aunt Barbara, how ironically gifts come,” he said. “This was rather a
sinister way of giving, that my mother should want me like this just as
her brain was failing. And yet that failure doesn’t affect the quality
of her love. Is it something that shines through the poor tattered
fabric? Anyhow, it has nothing to do with her brain. It is she herself,
somehow, not anything of hers, that wants me. And you ask if I can stand
it?”
Michael with his ugly face and his kind eyes and his simple heart seemed
extraordinarily charming just then to Aunt Barbara. She wished that
Sylvia could have seen him then in all the unconsciousness of what he
was doing so unquestioningly, or that she could have seen him as she
had with his mother during the last hour. Lady Ashbridge had insisted
on sitting close to him, and holding his hand whenever she could possess
herself of it, of plying him with a hundred repeated questions, and
never once had she made Michael either ridiculous or self-conscious. And
this, she reflected, went on most of the day, and for how many days it
would go on, none knew. Yet Michael could not consider even whether he
could stand it; he rejected the expression as meaningless.
“And your friends?” she said. “Do you manage to see them?”
“Oh, yes, occasionally,” said Michael. “They don’t come here, for the
presence of strangers makes my mother agitated. She thinks they have
some design of taking her or me away. But she wants to see Sylvia. She
knows about--about her and me, and I can’t make up my mind what to do
about it. She is always asking if I can’t take her to see Sylvia, or get
her to come here.”
“And why not? Sylvia knows about your mother, I suppose.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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