Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Historical fiction
Sylvia was out in the garden, where, hardly a month ago, they had spent
that evening of silent peace, and she got up quickly as Michael came
out.
“Ah, my dear,” she said, “I am glad you have come. I have got the
horrors. You saw the latest news? Yes? And have you heard again from
Hermann? No, I have not had a word.”
He kissed her and sat down.
“No, I have not heard either,” he said. “I expect he is right. Letters
have been stopped.”
“And what do you think will be the result of Belgium’s appeal?” she
asked.
“Who can tell? The Prime Minister is going to make a statement on
Monday. There have been Cabinet meetings going on all day.”
She looked at him in silence.
“And what do you think?” she asked.
Quite suddenly, at her question, Michael found himself facing it, even
as, when the final catastrophe was more remote, he had faced it with
Falbe. All this week he knew he had been looking away from it, telling
himself that it was incredible. Now he discovered that the one thing
he dreaded more than that England should go to war, was that she
should not. The consciousness of national honour, the thing which, with
religion, Englishmen are most shy of speaking about, suddenly asserted
itself, and he found on the moment that it was bigger than anything else
in the world.
“I think we shall go to war,” he said. “I don’t see personally how we
can exist any more as a nation if we don’t. We--we shall be damned if we
don’t, damned for ever and ever. It’s moral extinction not to.”
She kindled at that.
“Yes, I know,” she said, “that’s what I have been telling myself; but,
oh, Mike, there’s some dreadful cowardly part of me that won’t listen
when I think of Hermann, and . . .”
She broke off a moment.
“Michael,” she said, “what will you do, if there is war?”
He took up her hand that lay on the arm of his chair.
“My darling, how can you ask?” he said. “Of course I shall go back to
the army.”
For one moment she gave way.
“No, no,” she said. “You mustn’t do that.”
And then suddenly she stopped.
“My dear, I ask your pardon,” she said. “Of course you will. I know
that really. It’s only this stupid cowardly part of me that--that
interrupted. I am ashamed of it. I’m not as bad as that all through.
I don’t make excuses for myself, but, ah, Mike, when I think of what
Germany is to me, and what Hermann is, and when I think what England is
to me, and what you are! It shan’t appear again, or if it does, you
will make allowance, won’t you? At least I can agree with you utterly,
utterly. It’s the flesh that’s weak, or, rather, that is so strong. But
I’ve got it under.”
She sat there in silence a little, mopping her eyes.
“How I hate girls who cry!” she said. “It is so dreadfully feeble! Look,
Mike, there are some roses on that tree from which I plucked the one you
didn’t think much of. Do you remember? You crushed it up in my hand and
made it bleed.”
He smiled.
“I have got some faint recollection of it,” he said.
Sylvia had got hold of her courage again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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