Then he was seized with a happy idea. Why should he leave the room at
all? If he sent Smith, then he himself could wait and make certain that
the cupboard was not tampered with.
"Smith," he said, "go and find Mr. Outwood, and ask him to be good
enough to come here for a moment."
22
MAINLY ABOUT SHOES
"Be quick, Smith," he said, as the latter stood looking at him without
making any movement in the direction of the door.
"_Quick_, sir?" said Psmith meditatively, as if he had been asked a
conundrum.
"Go and find Mr. Outwood at once."
Psmith still made no move.
"Do you intend to disobey me, Smith?" Mr. Downing's voice was steely.
"Yes, sir."
"What!"
"Yes, sir."
There was one of those you-could-have-heard-a-pin-drop silences. Psmith
was staring reflectively at the ceiling. Mr. Downing was looking as if
at any moment he might say, "Thwarted to me face, ha, ha! And by a very
stripling!"
It was Psmith, however, who resumed the conversation. His manner was
almost too respectful; which made it all the more a pity that what he
said did not keep up the standard of docility.
"I take my stand," he said, "on a technical point. I say to myself, 'Mr.
Downing is a man I admire as a human being and respect as a
master. In--'"
"This impertinence is doing you no good, Smith."
Psmith waved a hand deprecatingly.
"If you will let me explain, sir. I was about to say that in any other
place but Mr. Outwood's house, your word would be law. I would fly to do
your bidding. If you pressed a button, I would do the rest. But in Mr.
Outwood's house I cannot do anything except what pleases me or what is
ordered by Mr. Outwood. I ought to have remembered that before. One
cannot," he continued, as who should say, "Let us be reasonable," "one
cannot, to take a parallel case, imagine the colonel commanding the
garrison at a naval station going on board a battleship and ordering the
crew to splice the jibboom spanker. It might be an admirable thing for
the Empire that the jibboom spanker _should_ be spliced at that
particular juncture, but the crew would naturally decline to move in the
matter until the order came from the commander of the ship. So in my
case. If you will go to Mr. Outwood, explain to him how matters stand,
and come back and say to me, 'Psmith, Mr. Outwood wishes you to ask him
to be good enough to come to this study,' then I shall be only too glad
to go and find him. You see my difficulty, sir?"
"Go and fetch Mr. Outwood, Smith. I shall not tell you again."
Psmith flicked a speck of dust from his coat sleeve.
"Very well, Smith."
"I can assure you, sir, at any rate, that if there is a shoe in that
cupboard now, there will be a shoe there when you return."
Mr. Downing stalked out of the room.
"But," added Psmith pensively to himself, as the footsteps died away, "I
did not promise that it would be the same shoe."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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