"You know Pond, the lecture man in New York, was telling me a quaint story about Masefield. Great friend of mine, old Jan Masefield. He turned up in New York to talk at some show Pond was running. Had on some horrible old trench boots. There was only about twenty minutes before the show began. 'Well,' says Pond, hoping Jan was going to change his clothes, 'are you all ready?' 'Oh, yes,' says Jan. Pond was graveled; didn't know just what to do. So he says, hoping to give Jan a hint, 'Well, I've just got to get my boots polished.' Of course, they didn't need it--Americans' boots never do--but Pond sits down on a boot-polishing stand and the boy begins to polish for dear life. Jan sits down by him, deep in some little book or other, paying no attention. Pond whispers to the boy, 'Quick, polish his boots while he's reading.' Jan was deep in his book, never knew what was going on. Then they went off to the lecture, Jan in his jolly old sack suit." We went up to a private gallery on Walnut Street, where some of the most remarkable literary treasures in the world are stored, such as the original copy of Elia given by Charles Lamb to the lady he wanted to marry, Fanny Kelly. There we also saw some remarkable first editions of Shelley. "You know," he said, "Mrs. L---- in New York--I had an introduction to her from Jan--wanted to give me a first edition of Shelley, but I wouldn't let her." "How do you fellows get away with it?" we said again humbly. "Well, old man," he said, "I must be going. Mustn't keep Vachel waiting. Is this where I train? What a ripping station! Some day I must write a poem about all this. What a pity you have so few poets ..." A GOOD HOME IN THE SUBURBS There are a number of empty apartments in the suburbs of our mind that we shall be glad to rent to any well-behaved ideas. These apartments (unfurnished) all have southern exposure and are reasonably well lighted. They have emergency exits. We prefer middle-aged, reasonable ideas that have outgrown the diseases of infancy. No ideas need apply that will lie awake at night and disturb the neighbors, or will come home very late and wake the other tenants. This is an orderly mind, and no gambling, loud laughter and carnival or Pomeranian dogs will be admitted. If necessary, the premises can be improved to suit high-class tenants. No lease longer than six months can be given to any one idea, unless it can furnish positive guarantees of good conduct, no bolshevik affiliations and no children. We have an orphanage annex where homeless juvenile ideas may be accommodated until they grow up. The southwestern section of our mind, where these apartments are available, is some distance from the bustle and traffic, but all the central points can be reached without difficulty. Middle-aged, unsophisticated ideas of domestic tastes will find the surroundings almost ideal. For terms and blue prints apply janitor on the premises. WALT WHITMAN MINIATURES I