Minerva's Manoeuvres: The Cheerful Facts of a "Return to Nature"Loomis, Charles Battell
General
Minerva's Manoeuvres: The Cheerful Facts of a "Return to Nature"
Loomis, Charles Battell
Country life -- Fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Married people -- Fiction; New England -- Fiction
“Yes. I didn’t want to be romantic. It has often struck me that
many a girl says yes because it is moonlight, or the lane is
shady, or the breeze is balmy. You see I look at it from the
point of view of a writer—and I thought I’d strip it of all
glamour after I’d made up my mind—thanks to you—that I had a
chance, and so when she said she’d like to ride around on the
elephant I was fool enough to sit alongside of her on a blame
little donkey and there wasn’t anybody within ear shot as the
next thing behind was a wagon and they’re not popular. And just
before the thing started I—well I asked her, and she burst out
laughing and then she got mad and then the old thing started and
we had to ride till it stopped, and then she asked me to take
her away because she felt dizzy and I took her away and we ran
plump into Hepburn and he asked her to go and see a man selling
whips, and I went down the road a mile and wished I’d never been
born. I think she felt insulted.”
I looked the other way.
“Why don’t you try again?”
“Thank you. I know when I’ve had enough.”
He left me and I went behind a large oak and sat on the grass
and laughed until I cried. The idea of a sensible man sitting on
a wooden donkey and asking a pretty girl on a wooden elephant if
she would care to ride the merry-go-round of life with him.
“I’m afraid that Ellery is artificial,” said Ethel when I told
her.
“But Hepburn is the real thing,” said I.
It was in the middle of the afternoon that Ethel and I were
sitting together in a little pine grove. I had been telling her
the events of the morning and now we were resting on the grass
and watching the farmer folk. Oakham fair day is the great day
for exchanging “visits.” Two elderly men met.
“Well, how are you doin’ it!”
“Oh, the way I always do. You’re lookin’ abaout the same. Leetle
more gray but I guess you’re able to do the chores?”
“Oh, yes, ain’t had to call in Maria to do that yet. You seem to
be stavin off death.”
“Fooled him so fur. Git me in the end though. That your
daughter?”
“No, that’s my grandchild.”
“Well, well. Looks like your daughter Libby.”
“Libby’s daughter.”
“By Godfrey, time _has_ a way of gittin’ along. Beats these
automobiles.”
“Doos so. Well, glad I seen yer. Oakham Fair’s gre’t day to see
folks. Most interestin’ exhibit. I say folks is the most
interestin’ exhibit.”
“Ye-es, yes. Be’n comin’ here thirty-five years. Ever sence the
fust fair.”
“Me too. Bet ye a cooky you won’t do it no thirty-five years
more. Not ’nless the good Lord fergits to git ye.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account