Minerva's Manoeuvres: The Cheerful Facts of a "Return to Nature"Loomis, Charles Battell
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Minerva's Manoeuvres: The Cheerful Facts of a "Return to Nature"
Loomis, Charles Battell
Country life -- Fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Married people -- Fiction; New England -- Fiction
Ethel always cuts me off when I make any references to my lost
youth. She calls them my calf love days and takes no interest in
them, while I contend that some of the happiest moments in a
man’s life are when he roams the fields in retrospect with a
girl who is always ten times prettier than anyone he ever met. I
once met one of those old-time beauties and the shock was
terrific. I tried to restore her features as I gazed at her, but
my imagination balked at the task. She was a good woman, the
mother of seven good children, but the vision of the lovely,
dancing-eyed, pink-cheeked, rosebud-mouthed, shell-like-eared,
dimple-chinned naiad of my early youth was gone.
From the way in which she looked at me, I felt that she had
suffered a like shock. The tall, lithe-limbed, high-browed,
innocent-faced, clear-eyed, light-hearted boy of sixteen no
longer stood before her. Thanks be to the conventions of
society, neither one of us wished that our tongues could utter
the thoughts that arose in us, and we both had the audacity to
speak of the jolly days of long ago, and I left her, thinking
that I still considered her the little beauty of 1886, while she
left me still imagining that I thought she thought me the
handsome youth of the same year.
Ethel gave a little cry of delight.
“I’ve found one, Philip. It’s just like the picture in the
book.”
“Why, of course,” said I. “You don’t suppose that they make up
those pictures and expect the plants to conform to them?”
Not noticing my flippancy, she came over with two of the little
flowers and held them up for me to see.
“They look like something very pretty, Minerva. What do they
remind you of?”
“A pair of pants,” said Minerva, with a loud laugh.
“Dutchmen’s breeches, do you mean?” said Ethel. “Oh, I see what
you mean. Yes, they are like little knickerbockers, but they
remind me of Japanese lanterns. Now, Minerva, the woods and the
fields are full of plants like these and they all have names and
each has a beauty of its own—”
“What’s Dutchmen’s breeches?” interrupted Minerva. She had been
to the “Continuous” many times and I think that Dutchmen’s
breeches brought to her mind a pair of knockabout comedians.
“Do you think there are any in this field, Philip?” said Ethel.
“You have got me, Ethel. I forget each summer the names of the
flowers I learned the summer before. Seems to me Dutchmen’s
breeches is an early spring flower.”
“No, I think it comes in the late fall to tell the truth. We’ll
look it up.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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